Prove Me Innocent
by Ezzery
Summary: The clock is ticking and it's almost midnight, I have only minutes left before they carry my sentence over. Would the red phone ring in time? Will I die for my sins? Will she be my savior? AH,OOC M for Violence and Sex
1. Prologue

**AN: I'm not Stephenie Meyers, no profit is made.**

**WARNING: This story is extremely dark and has lots of violence. Please do not proceed if you are offended by graphic violence or sex. Although not every chapter will have sex or violence, most will have one or the other, or maybe both.**

**This story is OOC and is All Human. I can't answer any questions about the ending or I would give away the plot, but please trust me, I won't let you down. The story it's dark and full of angst, but underneath all, it is still a love story, so please keep that in mind as you are reading this. Thanks!**

**~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~**

**EPOV**

It was pitch black and I was walking barefoot on gravel, moving away from my house in the dead of the night. I had forgotten to wear shoes, never mind a jacket, and the night was cold, just like that heartless bitch.

My happy marriage had turned into a nightmare faster than I could blink my eyes twice. Tanya had not only stolen all of my money, but had cheated on me with my partner, my childhood friend, the man I shared everything I valued with. James. She left me on the street, all fucked up and dry.

I was now a poor, pathetic man, living once again at my parents' house with no career, no hopes and no dreams. I was worthless.

The worst part was that I should've known better. I should've listened to my sister Alice when she tried to warn me about Tanya, and I should have dumped that bitch the moment I laid eyes on her. I refused to listen, and now I was paying the consequences.

I shivered as I continued my walk, my internal musings keeping me from knowing my destination. I made a sudden stop and I gasped when I realized where I was.

There, in its entire splendor, was my home. The home I had bought for my love, for Tanya. I had imagined so many things, so many happy endings. I wanted kids, a big family, and happiness. I wanted it all and I was fool enough to think that I almost had it.

_Here alone, standing barefoot in our lawn,  
Worms squeezing their way through my toes  
Tonight that's how it goes.  
I'm at your window kneeling quiet,  
I thought at least I'd maybe try to get your head right  
Get your heart right  
"Let him go!"_

Without realizing it I was now standing outside what I knew was the master bedroom. I didn't hesitate with my moves as I approached the large glass window. I took a deep breath and I chanced a glance inside before gasping once more.

There she was, kissing James from the side, while his hands were wrapped around her waist, he standing behind her. It had always been him behind her, behind every single move she made.

I watched in silence as he broke the kiss before licking the length of her neck, his hands roaming her perky chest. Tanya moaned as he forcefully took her shirt off before removing her bra so that he could continue his ministrations.

_Then through the glass I see your dress fall to the floor  
As he embraces every inch of you  
The woman I adore.  
I can't believe the way you're bending  
Can't believe this never ending moaning asking him for more  
I heard you begging him for more_

I gasped once again as he lowered her skirt, revealing the fact that she was going commando. I closed my fists in anger as he plunged a finger inside her pussy, while rubbing himself against her back as she moaned his name over and over.

I could feel my anger rise as Tanya came undone with her orgasm; the only thing that was understandable from her moaning was James' name.

I suddenly felt like a total creep, a fucking voyeuristic asshole, taking in such a personal moment, but a moment that should have been mine.

_How far will I go  
To make it feel right? "Come home"  
I have to fix this on my own_

Replace my heart,  
Cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end  
Replace my heart,  
I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hoping…..end

I braced myself against the wall as he pushed Tanya, chest down, onto the bed, dropping his shirt and trousers in a swift movement. I gagged as I saw his member stand in attention before he forcefully penetrated her, her face a mask of pure ecstasy.

I needed to stop this; I needed to put an end to this nightmare. I needed to turn away, go home, and forget either of them ever existed. I tried to will myself to turn back, but I couldn't move.

Before I knew it, I was creeping along the fence, jumping inside the lush patio like a common criminal.

_I crept in close enough to see the way he touched her,  
From her feet across her knees, inside her sweetest spot  
he pleased and pleased her.  
I turned around and tried to take control, but no control was capable  
It was a centerfold of how less than low can possibly go._

I moved fast and with purpose, hoping that she still left the patio doors open so that I could have easy access. I no longer thought of what I was doing, there was this strong impulse driving my movements, almost like a deadly robot stalking its next prey.

I swallowed a sob as I entered our living room, noticing that nothing had changed. It was as if I was the one who had never been in this place, as If I had dreamed being in someone else's life. I hesitated for a second before moving towards the bedroom. I needed to see, face to face, the two devils in my life. I couldn't hold back any longer. I had reached the point of no return and my anger soared.

_I squeezed the life into my brain  
Like pushing knives into a vein  
I've gotta get, I've gotta get, I said I've gotta get inside  
So to the back window I crawl in silent standing in the darkness  
Of my living room, my living room  
This used to be my home_

How far will I go  
To make it feel right? "Come home"  
I'm moving forward to the bedroom door

Replace my heart  
Cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end  
Replace my heart  
I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hoping…end

I took a deep breath before turning the door knob slowly, careful not to give myself away. I counted to ten before pushing the door, revealing the disgusting scene before me little by little. From where I was standing I could see James' cock push inside Tanya's pussy over and over, while they both moaned each other's name. How sickening.

I decided that it was now or never. I needed to make my presence known, and I needed to put an end to all this shit. I was done, done, done, and I was gone, gone, gone. The monster within me soared while taking away the last shred of the human I once was. It was game time, and I was holding up for the final touchdown.

_I turn the doorknob with two fingers to be slow  
Enough to sneak into the room among the corner darkness gloom  
I had to see this happening.  
He pushed himself so deep inside her clapping rang and bounced off every wooden walled room  
And that's when all went silent blank except the color red  
As I walked calmly numbing paralyzed beside the bed  
I said "I know I'm not allowed to be here. I just had to see  
How good this new man really fucks you. Cause you both been fucking me."_

"Well isn't this wonderful!" The monster in me exclaimed.

"What a fucking beautiful scene. How do you like fucking my leftovers?" I asked James as they both looked at me in shock, their bodies still connected.

James smirked at me before continued to fuck her, while Tanya's face lost all trace of color.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Edward? You have no right to enter my house like that," Tanya yelled while pushing James off her and standing straight.

"I know I'm not fucking supposed to be in the house I built for us, the one I gave you along with my heart, but who gives a shit, Tanya, really who cares?" I yelled as James sat down on the bed, laughing.

_You won't be laughing for long, asshole._ I thought to myself.

"Edward, Edward, how disappointing. Are you really feeling that low?" James asked, the smirk never leaving his face.

"Fuck you, James" I said as I pulled a pistol out of my pants. _What the fuck? Where did this come from?_ I wondered as I pointed the gun to Tanya, and slowly moved it towards James.

"Edward, my brother, what are you doing?" James squeaked and I couldn't contain _my_ laughter.

"What does it look like, _brother?_" I said in a low, but harsh whisper before I pulled the trigger, hitting him straight in the head.

"_So now I planned the last thing you can both do as a pair  
I tie both blindfolds tight around your fucking eyes to blind your stare  
I don't want to alarm you, but I figured we could end this in what seems easy quick and painless  
So I'll get down to business  
I choose you first, there's a gun, its at your head  
So laugh at me just one more time but keep your face inside the bed  
You sit and watch me while I do this shit and learn from what I've said."  
I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger, and all I saw was red_

I was truly a monster, and I was enjoying myself.

I laughed out loud as Tanya began to scream, while scrambling to gather some clothes. I doubled over in laughter as she crawled desperately around the room, trying to figure out a way to grab something without getting too close.

"Edward, please, what are you doing?" she whimpered.

"I'm having fun, just like you did with me," I replied in a cold voice.

"Please, Edward, I love, you, please" she begged as I resumed my laughing.

Finally giving up with the idea of putting something on, she grabbed the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her trembling body. She then took a deep breath and started moving towards me.

"Where do you think you are going?" I asked her while lifting the gun.

"Edward…" was all she said before I pulled the trigger once again.

_Then the screaming oh the screaming  
It's nice to see you scared  
Of such a weak and stupid husband  
Who knows you never really cared  
I'll leave you with a question that I need to hear from your head  
Was all this worth it knowing u have just seconds left to live?_

Now think about your answer, laying face down on the bed  
I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger and all I saw was red  
I gently stroke her arm as she lies lifeless on her back  
Then placed the barrel in my mouth  
All I saw was black.

I started to sob uncontrollably while I looked at my handy work. I was now truly worth it, I didn't deserve to live any longer.

I cried as I tried to remember everything in my life that had made me happy, finally smiling when I thought of my wonderful parents and how they now were going to be better off.

I sat on the corner of the bed I had once shared with Tanya, and I moved the gun so that the mouth was gracing my temple.

"I loved you, bitch," I said in a hard bitter tone before pulling the trigger… and all was black.


	2. Fast Burning Love

**AN: Disclaimer on the Prologue.**

**I forgot to mention on the Prologue that the **_**Italics**_** text was a song called **_**The End**_** by Blue October.**

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I really appreciate all of them!! **

**This chapter goes back in time. I hope you enjoy it.**

**~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~**

**EPOV**

I was a pediatric surgeon at the Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara and had recently graduated from my residency. Life couldn't be sweeter. I had met this wonderful girl, I had finally become a doctor, and I had the greatest family ever.

I met Tanya two years before I completed my residency at a coffee shop in San Francisco. I had gone there with my family for a weeklong vacation, and I was having a pretty good time with them.

The morning we met I had gone out for an early run and then decided to stop for some Starbucks for all of my family. I was pretty sure they would all be waking up soon and we had a long day of sightseeing ahead of us.

My parents, Carlisle and Esme, came down from Washington for a visit, and my sister Alice and her husband Jasper, had driven with me from Montecito. That fateful day was the last day before we all returned to our respective homes and we had planned to spend it at Alcatraz, since it was Jasper's choice day.

I pulled my iPod earplugs from my ears and turned the device off before opening the door for an older lady leaving the warm store. I sighed as I took in the wonderful smells of the coffee and pastries they served. The line wasn't too bad, so I decided to text Alice while I waited to let her know I would be there soon, and that I was baring gifts.

_Hey little pixy devil, r u up? _

_Of course. Where are u?_

_Starbucks_

_Awesome, I would like the usual, and bring some decaf tea for Jasper._

_And who said I was bringing u anything?_

_Ass_

_Snob_

_Carrot haired ken_

_Ink haired pixy_

I smiled as we continued our usual banter and realized that I was now at the front of the line.

"Welcome to Starbucks, what would you like today?" an extremely excited girl with messy black hair and huge glasses asked.

"I'll have two Grande café Americano, a Venti Non-Fat white Mocha with whip, and two Berry Chai Lattes, please."

The girl repeated the order before telling me it would be ready soon, and I paid before moving to the other end of the counter so that I could retrieve my drinks.

I looked around the counter area and found cup holders stacked in a corner, I was making my way to grab one when I bumped into someone.

"Can't you watch where you're going?" a very agitated, drop-dead gorgeous, strawberry blonde girl asked.

"I'm really sorry, are you alright?" I asked while my eyes ventured down to her chest.

I quickly remembered my manners and managed to pull away from her perfectly shaped boobs and looked at her. I gasped as I noticed the light blue color of her eyes, and her yummy plump lips.

"I'm Edward," I blurted out while she shot daggers at me.

"Well, Edward, please be careful, you almost ruined my shirt," she retorted.

"I'm really sorry. You are gorgeous by the way," I blurted out once again, chastising myself internally for my lack of filter.

"And you're very forward," she said as she tried to hide a smile unsuccessfully.

"Indeed I am," I said before I could stop myself. She chuckled and I gave her a sheepish look.

"I'm Tanya, and you are not so bad yourself," she said as she giggled, her voice sounding like heavenly bells.

"Venti No-fat White Mocha for Edward," I heard the barista call and I sighed.

"See you around," I said.

"Sure, later," Tanya said before giving me a disappointed look and turning around.

By the time I had all of my drinks placed in the cup holder I had lost track of Tanya. I was disappointed for not asking her to wait for me, or at least asking her for her telephone number.

I was still in shock about how forward I had been. I was normally quiet and reserved and I hadn't had many girlfriends up to that point because of that.

I took one more look around the coffee shop before heading for the exit, my entire demeanor a little sad at my misfortune.

"Wow, are you planning to drink all of that or do you have a huge family?" I heard Tanya ask as soon as I exited the coffee shop. She was standing on the corner, quietly sipping her drink.

"Big family," I said with a shrug. "Were you waiting for me?" I asked a little surprised.

"Please, don't flatter yourself so much. I'm waiting for my sister Kate to finish getting her order so that we can get on with our day," she explained.

"Are you a local?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm from…" she was telling me before being interrupted by a pretty red haired girl.

"Let's go," the girl said before grabbing Tanya by the arm and moving down the street.

"Wait? Can I have your number?" I asked a little ticked off that I had been interrupted before I was able to ask her more about herself.

"No, but if it's meant to be, we'll meet again," Tanya said before she winked at me, leaving me stunned.

I stood there in shock for a few seconds before turning around and walking towards the hotel. I sighed before chancing another look back, and smiled when I realized that she had done the same. This time, I winked at her, earning an even bigger smile while her sister struggled to pull her forward.

We repeated the same dance until we could no longer see each others' features and I sighed loudly before crossing the street and moving out of her sight.

I spent the rest of that day lost in thoughts about Tanya. She was sassy, beautiful, and had left me a little more than intrigued. My heart would beat a little faster every time I thought I saw a red head or a strawberry blonde girl, hoping that it would be them, but it wasn't meant to be. We left San Francisco without another glance at Tanya, and my heart hurt a little at the thought of never seeing her again.

~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

Being a resident was extremely demanding and I quickly forgot about San Francisco and Tanya as I focused once again in my one and true passion, medicine. I spent my days doing 48 straight hour shifts, and when I wasn't working at the hospital, I was helping Jasper with the house he was constructing for Alice.

Alice had chosen a beautiful spot between Montecito and Carpinteria, high on one of the front shore mountains. The design of the house was exquisite, and my favorite part was the wraparound porch with the amazing ocean views. I was definitely going to be visiting them as often as I could once the house was ready to go.

I was having one of those 'should've stayed in bed' days as I headed to work on a rare rainy day in Santa Barbara. The streets were congested with traffic and I was running late. I zigzagged between cars as best as I could with my Volvo and made it to the Hospital with only a few minutes to spare.

I went through the back door and headed for the elevator as fast as my feet could carry me. I stepped inside the elevator and I pressed the fifth button before pressing the door close button repeatedly.

"In a hurry?" someone giggled from behind me.

I turned around and gasped in surprise as I saw Tanya standing at the back of the elevator.

"Tanya?" I asked a bit perplexed.

"The one and only," she said breathlessly as she leaned forward, grabbed me by my medical coat and pulled me in for a kiss.

We made out in the elevator all the way to the Fifth floor and I grunted in frustration as the elevator signaled that we had reached our destination.

Tanya broke our kiss and smiled at me before pushing forward, and exiting the elevator.

I acted quickly and grabbed her by the arms; she was not going to escape me this time.

"Where do you think you are going?" I asked.

"To work, where else silly?" she asked in a low sexy voice before moving away from me.

"You work here?" I asked in shock.

"Yes, I'm a nurse. You just have been too preoccupied with your own self to notice," she told me and I could tell that she was a little irritated.

"I… I…" I stuttered but couldn't form a single word.

"Don't worry Dr. Cullen, at least you noticed me now," she said as she once again turned around and left.

We spent the next couple of weeks playing hide-n-seek, making out every time we found ourselves in an empty room or elevator. By the end of the first week I had left her a message with my phone number and we had started to chat every night.

I worked up the courage to ask her for a date, and took her to the Ventura Harbor for a night of Greek food and sunset watching. I realized then that we had many things in common. She was a nurse, I was a doctor. She had studied at UCLA and I had graduated from Berkley, both great California Universities.

Tanya had a huge passion for helping others, the same thing that had inspired me to become a doctor, and she loved children. From that point forward we were inseparable. I had fallen in love with Tanya, and I thought my life was now more than perfect.

~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

A month after we started dating I decided that it was time to introduce Tanya to the family. My parents were going to be visiting for a few days because Alice had planned a big party to celebrate her new home with Jasper.

I found myself smiling a lot as I drove with Tanya towards Alice place. I was so sure that they would love Tanya and welcome her to the family. I had a feeling that she was the one, and I needed my family's approval.

I couldn't have been more wrong. Nothing went well that night. Things had been extremely awkward from the moment we arrived and I could tell that Tanya had not made a good impression on anyone.

I was angry with my family for being so critical of her. I knew that Tanya was ambitious and that she could be a little dramatic, but I admired her ambition and passion and didn't see those things as bad.

"What are you doing, Edward?" Alice asked be after demanding in a very non-polite way for me to spend some private time with her.

"What are you doing? What's wrong with all you?" I asked in an angry voice.

"What's wrong? You just brought home some cheap, plastic, money hungry woman, and you are asking me what's wrong? What's wrong with you?" Alice asked, not bothering to hide her disappointment.

"Alice, just give her a chance, please. Tanya might come across like that, but she's nothing like that deep inside. Please trust me. It's important to me that you all give her a chance before passing such hard judgments," I pleaded.

"No, Edward. I can't stand by and watch you go out with her. Trust me on this one; she's not good for you."

"You don't know that for certain. I don't care if you think you have a sixth sense or not, there is no way you can predict the future," I retorted, angry once more.

"Edward, please, listen to me. I know there is someone special out there for you, but it's not Tanya. She's just after our money!"

That's bullshit, Alice, and you know it. How can you possibly think that she's after our money? You don't know her from Eve," I yelled in irritation. This situation was beyond ridiculous and getting out of hand.

"What's going on?" My mother asked as she approached us.

"I'm trying to warn Edward about Tanya but he's not listening. He's as stubborn as a freaking mule," Alice spat while throwing her hands up in the air.

"Alice, please calm down. We should give Edward a chance to figure things out on his own, please," my mother pleaded.

"Thank you, at least someone is willing to be decent in here," I said a bit sarcastically. I was still mad that my parents had made very little attempt to engage Tanya in conversation.

"But mom, we need to tell him," Alice was saying.

"No. Absolutely not, Alice. Edward is a grown man and he can make his own decisions."

I felt as if I was missing some crucial detail from the situation, something that explained everyone's behavior but I was too mad to dig any deeper.

"I guess we shall be leaving now," I said between clenched teeth as I shoot an angry glance at Alice.

"Fine, but don't come crawling back when she decides to suck you dry and break your heart."

"Alice!" My mom exclaimed in horror.

"Never mind her mom, she is just as stubborn as I am," I said before stomping away from them, grabbing Tanya, and getting the hell out of Alice's house.

"They don't like me," Tanya said in a sad muted voice that broke my heart.

"Sweetheart, please just give them a little time. They are just being a bit over protective," I explained, hoping that I could make her feel better.

"I understand," she said with a small smile, and for a second there, I thought I got a glimpse of something else, but decided that it was most likely just my imagination after the horrendous comments that Alice had made.

The next few years went by in a blur, and before I knew it I was graduating from my residency and had accepted a position within the hospital. I was now ready to move on to the next step of my life, marriage.

A week later I had already picked out the perfect ring at Tiffany's and was driving an unsuspecting Tanya to my favorite restaurant in Santa Ynez, Grappolo. I zoomed towards the restaurant with giddy eagerness as I chance small glances at the future Mrs. Cullen.

We arrived at the tiny restaurant hand in hand and were led by a tall man to our little table in one of the corners. The lighting of the restaurant was dim, giving it that extra aura of romance. We sat at the table making small talk and sipping the delicious local Syrah as we waited for our food to arrive.

"You look a little nervous. What's wrong Pooky Bear?" Tanya asked in a sweet voice.

"Nervous? Me? No way," I chuckled trying not to give myself away.

Tanya gave me a strange look, but decided to drop it and smiled in excitement as she saw the waiter arrive. I swallowed a big gulp as the waiter placed our plates on the table. I had driven up here earlier that day and given the ring to the chef so that he could place it inside the butternut squash ravioli, Tanya's favorite dish.

I played around with my food while I watched Tanya consume each ravioli, waiting impatiently for her to find the ring. I've tried unsuccessfully to keep and animated conversation and she was giving me a weary look. Damn woman intuition.

"…so then I asked Dr. Hunter what was going on with the new RN and he… ugh, "

"Tanya?"

"I'm sorry, I think I see something shiny in my plate," she said as her eyes went wide and a small started to tug at the corner of her lips.

"Edward?"

"Yes," I teased.

"Is this… OH MY GOD… is this…"

"Tanya, my sugar pie, I'm so happy to have met you on that fateful day in San Francisco. You've changed my life in more ways than you could ever know. You make me the happiest man on earth and I could only hope that you would be willing to share yourself with me for the rest of our existence."

Tanya gasped loudly as I took the ring from her plate, and after cleaning it up, I took her delicate hand in mine and placed the ring at the tip of her finger.

"Would you marry me, Tanya?" I asked, not once breaking eye contact.

"Yes Edward, of course. My God, I thought you would never ask," she said in shock as I slid the ring slowly over her finger, giving it a small kiss once it was in place.

"It looks like is a little too big but we can get that fixed," I said trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Don't worry my Pooky, it will be fixed in no time," she smiled as she looked hungrily at the ring.

"I love you Tanya," I said trying to convey or the passion that my heart held for her.

"Me too, Eddie," she said after a small pause, and I wondered if she was still in shock. I had surprised her good.

While Tanya's family took the news with excitement, my family was a little too subdued to my liking. Almost as if they were giving up on something. I knew that their relationship with Tanya had not improved much since their first meeting, but she was now going to be my wife, and they had no choice but to love her as a sister, or a daughter.

Tanya rushed through our wedding planning in sheer excitement. She couldn't wait to become Mrs. Cullen and my heart soared at her enthusiasm. Before I knew it, I was standing at the altar waiting nervously for her to walk down the aisle.

Our wedding was large. Tanya had invited all of the Santa Barbara socialites, along with all the hospital staff, and our intimate friends and family. I would have preferred a smaller ceremony, something more intimate, but it was more important to make Tanya the happiest woman ever, so I conceded without argument.

I made future plans as I paced at the altar waiting for her to arrive. I thought about what our children would look like, the look of her small frame carrying our child, and the look of surprise she was going to have when she finally saw the house I had gotten Jasper to design and build for us.

"Finally alone," I whispered against Tanya's ear as I carried her over the threshold of our honeymoon suite.

Tanya had insisted on a Parisian honeymoon and I had spared no expense to make it happen.

"Make love to me, my husband," she purred against my ear as I placed her in the large, lush bed.

"Your wish is my command," I replied in a husky voice.

"I'll be right back," she said as she winked at me and made her way to the bathroom.

I started to remove my clothes as I waited for her to get changed. Our flight had been long, but all I wanted to do was lavish my bride. My jaw dropped when she stepped out of the bathroom in a white see-through negligee.

I quickly made my way around the bed and picked Tanya up in my arms as I started to place open mouth kisses all over her neck. I groaned as she started to moan louder and louder.

I placed her softly on top of the bed and crawled over her, grabbing the strings that were holding her breasts together and pulled on it, revealing her newly enhanced chest.

I had never been too keen on plastic surgery, but it was something that Tanya had wanted, and I gave it to her, like everything else. She was my world and I wanted to make sure she knew it.

I left a trail of kisses starting from her mouth and moving towards her chest before taking a hard nipple between my teeth and gently pulling on it. Tanya's hips buckled as I continued to lick and suck on both of her nipples, her heated center brushing against my throbbing erection.

I groaned as Tanya started to trace patterns on my back with the tip of her nails while I continued to dry-hump her.

"I need you inside me, Pooky" she moaned against my ear before taking the lobe between her teeth and gently biting on it, making me squirm in pleasure.

"Not so fast Mrs. Cullen, I want to show you how much I love you first," I said before pushing the negligee away from the rest of her body and wrapping my arms around her small frame.

Tanya placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back, making me fall on my back on the bed. I laughed at her impatience but then gasped as she started to lick me all over my chest, before moving towards my boxer briefs and taking the elastic between her fingers before starting to pull them off.

I shuddered as her soft strawberry blonde hair brushed against my groin as she started to move downwards, boxer briefs still in her grasp. My cock stood up as it was finally freed from the bothersome constraint and Tanya smiled before taking my whole member into her mouth, and sucking it with fervor.

"Tanya, please move over here so that I can taste you," I moaned before she flipped over and pressed her aroused apex against my face. I smiled as I took in her wonderful scent before plunging my tongue insider her, moaning as she moaned while sucking my cock, the vibrations driving me crazy.

I grew anxious to feel myself inside her walls and Tanya gave out a loud yelp as I grabbed her by the hips and pushed her forward before slamming into her doggy style.

"Fuck, you are so damn tight," I groaned as I slammed into her over and over, the only other overpowering noise was her loud moans.

"Faster, Eddie, faster," she demanded as I continued to pound into her, harder and harder.

"Eddie, I'm… I'm gonna come, fuck," she yelled before her walls constricted around me, milking me in the process and carrying me over the edge.

I grabbed Tanya by her waist and moved her so that she was laying on top of me, and we remained there, the only sound we were emitting was our crazy panting as we came down from our high.

We spent most of our honeymoon in our bedroom, making love, fucking, and then some. The few times we ventured out of the hotel, were spent shopping as Tanya wanted a completely new wardrobe, and what better place to shop than Paris.

I was high on a cloud of bliss and I thought to myself that there wasn't a single thing in the world that could bring me down from my high. I was finally complete and I couldn't wait to experience the rest of our future.

~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

Six months after our wedding things had taken a weird turn. Tanya had turned very cold towards me, and between my hospital shifts and hers we spent very little time with each other.

At first I thought this would bother her, but she seemed not to mind at all, and it worried me. However, that was not the worst part. More than once I had caught her faking enthusiasm and even her orgasms as we made love. It almost seemed like if it was a chore for her.

I found myself playing the piano all on my own most evening, eating out of take out containers as she didn't bother to cook anymore. I had been so excited to show her the house I had made for her, but she only complained about little details about her dream home that I had missed here or there.

It was almost as if the only times she would be sweet with me was when she needed money, which was very often, but even then, it seemed extremely forced.

I had become lonelier than ever as my relationship with her had driven a wedge between me and my family, and most of my friends lived out of town. In order to get her to go anywhere with me I would have to lavish her with expensive jewelry or gifts. _Why was she so different?_

I tried on more than one occasion to approach her and have a conversation about what was happening, but she would only act offended and avoid the subject. If I was honest with myself I was beginning to feel used, as if my money was the only thing that interested her.

Many men in my situation would have put a stop to the situation, but I couldn't do that. I loved her just as much as the first day and if money and jewelry made her happy, then I would continue to provide those things just to see her smile.

I pondered about what to do next as I drove home from a long shift one night. I was supposed to work for another four hours, but had decided to head out earlier and surprise Tanya before she went to bed. I was probably going to offer to take her on a trip somewhere and see if that way we could reconnect.

I decided to park my car at the front of the house to surprise her, but the surprised one was me as I saw James car parked in the garage. What the hell? I thought to myself.

James had made it clear that he detested Tanya, and other than maintaining a professional relationship with her at work, he wanted nothing to do with her. More than once he mentioned regretting finding Tanya that job, because now he had to put up with her petulance.

I opened the front door expecting to see them in the living room talking, but the house was dark. I thought that perhaps he had left his car at my place before heading somewhere, it wouldn't be the first time that he had done something like that.

I tried to make as little noise as possible as I headed towards the master bedroom. I had a small bouquet of flowers and I wanted to surprise Tanya. I was trying my hardest to show her that I loved her with all my heart. I was almost half way there when a moan stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Yes, fucking yes, right there," I heard Tanya moan in pleasure.

I hurried my pace towards the bedroom and opened the door in one swift movement, the flowers slipping out of my fingers as I saw Tanya being fucked by a man.

"James?"


	3. I Am A Monster

**AN: Disclaimer and Warnings on Prologue**

**Thank you everyone for all the wonderful reviews. This chapter has no violence or sex, but lost of anguish. Feel free to ask me any questions.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta Beate, she rocks my world, and my spelling and grammar. LOL**

**~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~**

**TPOV**

I was born in Alaska, the daughter of a poor fisherman and a blind, abusive mother. My life was headed nowhere and I hated that I even existed. I had pretty much accepted my doomed fate when I met James Hunter.

I fell in love with James almost instantly. He was so attentive, so caring. He had grown up in California, and was doing an exchange student semester at the University of Alaska. I was studying to become a nurse and for those six months we were inseparable.

I told James how much I hated living in Alaska and how much I hated my parents. He drilled into my head over and over that a woman as gorgeous as me was meant for great things. I believed him when he said that I was born to live the life of a queen and that I should never settle for anything else.

I confronted James the first time I realized that he had been cheating on me and he beat me up so bad, he had to stay at my dorm and take care of me for an entire week. I should have ran away from him at that moment, but I knew he was my ticket out of my miserable life, so I forgave him.

I also forgave him when he started to exchange my body for essays and other assignments from other students in his classes. He even had be sleep with a disgusting old professor in order to obtain an A in one of his classes. He claimed that he was just simply preparing me for the future, so that I could be an awesome fuck, since that was the only thing that would get me what I wanted other than my looks.

By the time James was ready to leave Alaska I knew that I had no choice but to follow him. I had earned such a reputation, that not even my parents wanted me back in their home. James took advantage of the situation and told me that I owed him, that he was going to make sure I had the best life ever, and that for that I was going to have to be his forever.

We took separate flights to Santa Barbara, in order to keep appearances, and I was driven to a beautiful Victorian Style one bedroom apartment off Bath Street, which was located near the downtown area. James told me that he would put in a good word for me at the Hospital where he was going to start his Residency so that I could be a nurse there.

He said that he would treat me with indifference and dislike at work so that no one could suspect about us. He also mentioned that we would not be seen together in Santa Barbara, not even at my own apartment, so when he had a need for me, he would give me a location and a time for me to meet him there.

The last warning he gave me was that his best friend, Edward Cullen, was off limits. He ordered me to be insignificant and pretty much invisible to him or our entire charade would end.

Our first subject, as he liked to call all the potential candidates for me, was Dr. Federico Ayende. Dr. Ayende was originally from Spain and had old European money. He was a man in his forties who tool great care of his body and still looked somewhat hot. I didn't mind too much trying to make him fall for me.

Everything was going great with the Dr. He treated me like a queen, always lavishing me with gifts and attention. All I had to do in return was to give him mind blowing sex, and he was putty in my capable hands.

However things went all wrong when James discovered that he had a gambling problem and that he had been wasting his money on the local Casino for years, making him almost completely dependent on his salary. James didn't think twice before asking me to break it off.

It was supposed to be a simple is not you it's me sort of breakup but things got out of hand. Dr. Ayende was too obsessed with me to let me go and decided to put up a fight. I started to be more ambitious about the things I wanted him to give me in exchange of him being able to keep dating me, and soon he realized that he was not going to be able to afford me.

I asked him for a Mercedes Convertible and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The idiot decided to ask Dr. Carlisle Cullen for money, and the good Dr. Cullen, realizing that something was wrong with Dr. Ayende, dug deeper, until Federico confessed everything that had been going on.

Dr. Cullen urged Dr. Ayende to break it off and tried to help him while I kept pushing for more and more, until he couldn't take it anymore, and killed himself.

The whole mess left me exposed and we had to wait a good two years before we were able to move on to another subject. I cried in excitement when he told me the next subject would be my forbidden fruit, Dr. Edward Cullen himself.

James explained that he hated Edward's father for intervening in the situation with Dr. Ayende and that it was time to make his life hell by making his only son's life hell. The plan was simple, all I had to do was make sure that Edward fell head over hills in love with me, marry him, and then suck him dry.

That's how I found myself stalking the Cullen family in San Francisco with my sisters Kate and Irina. They had no idea what I was up to, but had jumped at the chance to get out of Alaska and visit San Francisco for the first time. Neither one of them noticed that we were following a family the entire time we were there.

I was growing more and more frustrated with each passing day that I didn't get a chance to approach Edward. It seemed like the family trip was just that, a family trip, and he had spent every single second surrounded by his family members. I had to be very careful as I couldn't risk being seen my Dr. Cullen, Sr. or my plan would go to hell.

Just as I was about to resign myself to just go home, I found myself face to face with Edward at a Starbucks near the hotel they had been staying at, and well the rest is history.

I played the mysterious girl card as I attracted the poor fool into my web. Once we got back to Santa Barbara, I did my best to hide from him for a while so that he could spend some time thinking about me, before finally revealing myself to him.

Things took off from there. It was risky going to his parent's home and meeting face to face with Dr. Cullen, but James had said that they were too noble to out me in front of Edward, and other than the palpable dislike, things went without any problems.

Before I knew it I was getting married to Edward and way ahead on my plan to leave him dry and fucked. As soon as we got back from our honeymoon I turned into my natural bitch self. Slowly I started to demand more and more from him, making sure he gave me everything my heart desired. He was so in love with me, it was sickening to watch, and sometimes I even felt a little sorry for him.

James decided that he wanted to make Edward pay for all of the times he had fared better than him in sports, school, and with women, and the way to do that was to come to our house every day and fuck me silly.

I was supposed to wait a year before demanding a divorce and taking all of his money, but the poor bastard found me and James on a compromising situation, and broke things off. At first I was a little put off by having to end my little fantasy so soon, as I knew life was going to be miserable once again at the mercy of James, but then I got really excited as James told me he would share to money with me so that I could leave Santa Barbara, and start my dream life anywhere I liked. I should have never fucking trusted him.

His plan to destroy Edward was callous. He went as far as to destroy his medical career, and after helping me invent a battered wife story, we sucked him dry. He was no one. I laughed the day I heard he had moved in back with his parents, his poor tail between his legs. I felt a huge satisfaction knowing that Dr. Cullen, Sr. knew that this could happen someday and was powerless to do anything about it.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

**EPOV**

"James?" I asked in shocked as I realized that the man pounding into my wife was non other than my best friend.

"Well hello there, Eddie boy. How do you like the view from there? Would you like to join in? Tanya here likes it in the ass, and she would love nothing more than the both of us to fill her up good, he sneered as Tanya gave me a panicked look.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Tanya?" I asked in disgust and shock.

"Shut up Pooky Bear, you either come join on the fun or get the hell out of my house," she yelled, shocking me even more.

"You heard her Cullen, you better get the fuck out," James yelled.

"Or what? " I asked in anger as I crossed my arms over my chest, the flowers long forgotten.

"Or I'll call the cops and tell them how you have been abusing poor Tanya," James said and before I could respond, he pulled her from under him and punched her squared in the eye, before slapping her face several times.

I stood frozen in place as James continued to hit Tanya while she laughed over and over. The scene unfolding in front of me made me so sick that I started to throw up all over the floor while James stood from the bed and kicked me in my stomach, making me sicker.

"You disgust me, get the hell out," was the last thing I heard from Tanya as I made my way out of our home.

I spent that first night parked at the lit of the clinic in front of the Hospital while I tried to process what had happened. I couldn't shake from my mind the images of James fucking Tanya in the bed we shared and I couldn't help but wonder how many times they had done that same thing under my nose.

After spending a few weeks at a grimy hotel in downtown Santa Barbara, I decided to call my parents and ask if they would take me in. It was one of the biggest humiliations I had experienced in my life at that point, second only to finding Tanya and James that day.

I tried to throw myself into work so that I could keep my mind off Tanya and off the anger that was brewing underneath the surface, an anger so deep and so intense that it scared me shitless. However, soon I found myself without a job or a career as I was accused of selling narcotics from the hospital and sexually abusing one of my patients.

Things got worse and worse as I lost all of my money to Tanya, her claims of abuse gaining momentum on the court as the charges from the hospital were brought up. I was still living as a free man, but I knew that I would be going to jail soon, that I was going to pay for many, many things that I never did.

My life as I knew it had ended and now all I felt was shame. Shame for disappointing my parents, shame for ignoring my sister and her never faltering intuition, shame for losing all that I had worked for because of a fucking whore.

The worst part was finding out that my parents had known from the very beginning the type of person that Tanya was and had done nothing to prevent me falling for her trap because they were too afraid of losing me. Everyone in my family knew the type of witch she was, and sat back and watched as she destroyed my life.

My father was positive that they would be able to help me clear my name, and perhaps even get my medical license back, but I held no such hopes. James and Tanya had planned it all perfectly and had made sure there was no way I could escape this fucking hell.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

I woke up in a cold sweat realizing that I had just had the most horrific and realistic nightmare. I had gone to my old home and I had caught Tanya and James once again in the act before deciding to kill them and then ending my own life.

I took a deep breath as I realized I had a pounding headache, most likely from my hangover. I tried to get up from the bed, but realized that my body was stiff and sticky. I laid there for a few minutes while I tried to stretch my muscles, wondering why I was so sore.

I tried to remember what I had done the night before, but couldn't get pass poring a glass of scotch and sitting by my piano, once of the few things I was able to recover from my former home. I shook my head, trying to get all thoughts of Tanya out of my mind and stood up on shaky legs, making my way to the bathroom slowly, as my head spinned from left to right and from right to left.

I finally made it to the bathroom and turned on the light switch before I gasped. I was covered in blood. I checked myself all over the mirror to see if I had any cuts and soon I realized that it wasn't my blood.

_Oh my God!_

_Oh my God!_

_Ohmygod, ohmygod!_

_What have I done?_

I moved back into the bedroom and saw my bloody clothes lying all over the floor. I gulped loud and hard as I saw a pistol laying on my night table, my fingerprints surely all over the weapon.

I started pacing around the room, wondering what I would do now when I head pounding on the door.

"Mr. Cullen, you are surrounded, please step out of the room with your hands on top of your head slowly," a loud voice demanded before the door to my room was kicked down.

I felt a cold sweat run down my back as I did as instructed and stepped forward, tears starting to flow down my face as I heard my mother gasp and then sob in shock, surely due to my appearance. I'm pretty sure that having her blood covered looser son arrested in front of you was not one of those things that Esme had dreamt about when she was little.

"I'm sorry mom," I mouthed before two arms grabbed me roughly by the arms, pulling them back before I felt the cold metal of the handcuffs slam against my skin. My life was surely over.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

Eighteen months later, I was sitting in a packed court room waiting for my sentencing. My trial had been short and pathetic and the jury had taken only thirty minutes to declare me guilty for Murder in the First Degree of Tanya Cullen and guilty of Murder in the First Degree of James Hunter.

I sat there, in my glowing orange jumpsuit, with what I was sure looked like a dead, frozen look in my face. I had accepted my guilt and was now waiting for the gravel to come down once more as I found out my fate.

I was never really able to remember what happened the night I had become a monster, other than what I remembered form that vivid dream. It simply wasn't a nightmare, I was truly a monster, and the only thing I regretted was not putting that gun on my head and pulling the trigger. I was a fucking coward.

I tried to tune out my sister's sobs and my mother's attempts to reassure me from the bench right behind me as I waited for the jury to enter the court room, one my one. I chanced a look at my family as the "All rise" was called and the judge, the Honorable Marcus Floretti entered the room and sat down.

I gave my mom a small reassuring smile before turning back from them. I would make sure that this was the last time they saw me, that they moved on with their lives as if I never existed.

I sat in my frozen stupor as one by one, all of Tanya and James' family members spoke about how I was a monster for cutting short the lives of their loved ones, how much they missed them, and how much the world would miss such giving and loving individuals. I almost snorted at all the ridiculous descriptions but kept quiet as I had proven to be worse than them by murdering them both.

"Will the prisoner please stand," the bailiff called before the judge read out his sentence.

Death Penalty… that's all I heard before the piercing sobs and scream from my mother and sister filled the courtroom.

I was going to die for my sins, and in a weird way, it gave me peace.


	4. Guilty Until Proven Innocent

**AN: Warning and Disclaimer on the Prologue. **

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. I always read each and every one of my reviews several times, and they inspire me to write more, so thank you!**

**Thank you Beate for your wonderful Beta work, you keep the story in line while my ideas spill out of my fingers at light speed.**

**~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~**

**BPOV**

_Forks, Washington 1995_

I was fuming. My anger was definitely getting the best of me, and I felt helpless against my own impulses. It was finally three in the morning and I hoped that my parents were sound asleep- the perfect time to make my escape. I was more than ready to get this whole mess sorted out.

I grabbed my sneakers as I slid silently out of my room and headed downstairs towards the kitchen. I moved slowly but with deliberation. I wanted to avoid stepping on one of those stupid creaking floor boards because if I got caught I would be in trouble for the rest of the summer.

I took a shaky breath as I reached the bottom of the stairs and wrapped my fingers around Charlie's keys. My parents had gone to bed two hours before, and I hoped that they were not engaging in any extracurricular activities or they would notice what I was about to do. My brother Emmett pretty much slept like the dead, so I was not worried about him in the least.

I took a deep breath before opening the side door and stepping on the wet ground. I tried to balance from one foot to the other as I put on my shoes before falling flat on my ass. I groaned before pulling myself up and heading towards the cruiser.

Once I reached the cruiser I opened it quickly and slid over the passenger's seat. My parents had no idea that Emmett had taught me how to drive at the tender age of fourteen, but at least I was not worried about being pulled over since I was driving a police cruiser.

I cursed Jacob out loud as I made my way towards La Push. I was sick and tired of his new 'I own Bella' attitude and I needed to put an end to the silliness. _Why couldn't you do this at a civilized hour without breaking any laws?_ Perhaps because I was impatient, mad, and felt betrayed. Or maybe it was the fact that Jacob and his little pack of friends were inseparable and it would be impossible to have a serious talk with him with any of them around.

I got angrier as I got closer to the reservation and took a deep breath in order to calm myself. It was not helping. I slowed the car down and parked just outside of the small group of houses. I wanted to get in and out of this place and back to my home before anyone took notice.

Once out of the car, I moved quickly towards Jacob's small home, bypassing the front entrance all together before rounding up the corner near the garage. I stopped right in front of Jacob's window and gave it three soft knocks. Unlike my brother, Jacob slept with an eye open so to speak and any little thing woke him up.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked after opening the window and looking at me in shock.

"You. Me. The Beach. Now!" I said between clenched teeth before turning around and heading towards our usual spot near the ocean.

It wasn't long before I heard his footsteps following me and I hurried my pace, not wanting him to catch with me until I was there. I was trying to put my thoughts in order so that I could tell him how I felt and leave before he had any chance of starting an argument with me.

"Slow down, what's the matter with you?" Jake asked as I reached a small log and plopped myself on it.

"Sit!" I ordered before giving him a nasty look, signaling that I meant business.

"Bells, how in the world did you get here? Are you alright?" he asked.

"Shut up and listen because this is the last time I'll ever say this. I am not your property. You do not own me. I am not your girlfriend, and I will never see you as more than a friend or a brother."

"But Bells…" he whined.

"No, you listen. I'm done with your stupid jealousy. You had no right to kiss me without permission just because Embry decided to tell me that I looked pretty. My first kiss was supposed to be my choice, something sweet, not you trying to shove your tongue down my throat," I screamed at him, a few traitor tears running down my face.

"Bella, I want you to me my girlfriend, please reconsider. I kissed you because I like you a lot. I thought you enjoyed it too. Now stop being so silly, and get your ass home before Charlie comes down here and drags you there," he said, a smug look on his face.

"Our friendship is over," I whispered before standing up and moving away from him.

It took him a few seconds to process what I told him, and once he did, he came running after me.

"You can't do that Bella. I'm your best friend. What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked perplexed.

"Just watch me Black, I'm done," I spat before running towards the cruiser and getting inside the car.

I drove slowly towards my home. I was disappointed that Jacob hadn't even offered me an apology for his behavior. It hurt me to leave him like that, but I needed to cut this from the root, or he would continue to develop feelings towards me. I knew I was hurting him, but it needed to end. I was fifteen and not ready for a relationship, much less one with someone who used to be my best friend.

I let out a sob as I thought about the fact that he was no longer my friend and tugged at my shirt, trying to get it close enough to my face so that I could wipe away my tears. I tried to gather myself before turning on our road. It would do me no good to enter the house while crying since I still needed to avoid being discovered.

I drove slowly down the familiar road. I was just about to make the last turn when I heard screaming and sobbing. I forgot all about not getting caught as I realized that there were two police cruisers, lights flashing, parked in front of my house.

Shit!

I was in trouble.

Most likely my father heard me when I turned the engine on and had called enforcements to try and locate me. That's when I noticed that these were not Forks cops, these were State cops. _Why would he enlist their help?_

I was shaking by the time I parked the cruiser and counted to ten before opening the door and closing it behind me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, go inside. NOW!" my father yelled, his face red.

"I'll deal with you later," he continued before turning his attention back to the police officers.

That's when I noticed one of the cruisers and realized that Emmett was inside. I turned around incredulous only to find my mother kneeling on the floor crying hysterically.

"Emmett?" I called.

"Oh Bella, Bella!" my mom cried as she got up and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"What's going on mom? Where are they taking Emmett? What happened?" I asked rapidly.

"My poor baby," my mom cried out before looking towards Emmett once again. He was sobbing too. I couldn't hear his sobs, but I could see his massive body shaking, his face red as he cried. I had never seen Emmett cry.

"It's all my fault. I was the one who took the cruiser. Please daddy, get Emmett out of there. It was all me," I cried as I started to panic.

"Bella, please go inside," my father called in a soft voice.

"NO! Why are they taking Emmett? What's going on?" I asked again.

"Emmett? Please, what happened?" I called towards the cruiser.

Emmett gave me a sad glance before covering his eyes with his hand and mouthing _I'm sorry_.

"What the fuck happened?" I screamed as I pounded my fists against one of the cops.

He grabbed my hands forcefully and then pushed me towards Charlie.

"I suggest you get a hold of your daughter before we take her too," the cop said in a cold voice.

"Over my dead body. Do you understand? She's just upset about her brother. You need to back off now," Charlie said in a scary sounding voice. The cop winced at his tone.

"Watch it Sheriff, or you may find yourself facing murder charges along with your son," the other cop said in an equally terrifying tone.

"Murder? What? Murder…" I said before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

I stayed in a state of numbness as my parents scrambled to figure out how to get Emmett out of this mess. He had been accused of murdering Wendy Stevenson, the school whore. I didn't believe for a second that Emmett was capable of doing such a monstrous thing, neither did my parents. So it came as no surprise when Emmett told us he didn't do it, that he was innocent.

At first things were looking good for Emmett. All of the evidence they had was circumstantial and he had an alibi, his girlfriend Rose. Apparently, the night that Wendy was brutally raped and murdered, Rose and Emmett had snuck out of the house and had spent it at First Beach. The defense lawyer was very confident that they would be able to throw out the charges and that Emmett would walk out of this with a clean name, a clean slate.

However, things soon took a turn for the worse. There was a witness, a freaking witness. We couldn't believe Emmett's bad luck. We tried to find out who this witness was, but they were keeping his identity protected as the witness had expressed concerns about retribution. We could do nothing but wait to see what this witness had to say.

Once the trial started, things began to move very quickly. The first few days were spent listening to the Prosecutor present the facts of the murder and the evidence they had on Emmett. Someone had called 911 after hearing screaming and fighting, and they saw a large, bulky and dark haired man leave the scene.

There was not a single piece of hard evidence that placed Emmett on the crime scene. There was no DNA, fingerprints, hair samples, nothing at all. The trial would not have even happened if it wasn't for this sudden witness. _Who could it be?_

Five days after the trial started, the start witness decided that he would reveal himself. He told the prosecution office that he was no longer afraid of someone hurting him for speaking out. We were finally going to see who this liar was.

I got up that morning with a big feeling of unease. I just felt wrong. I had a feeling that something bad would happen and I was terrified of leaving the house. I knew it had to do with Emmett, and I hoped that my intuition was dead wrong as I hoped for the best. I thought for a second about the fact that I hadn't heard from Jacob in six months, not since that horrible night, and it hurt that he hadn't tried to make things better between us.

I pushed all thoughts of Jacob out of my mind as I climbed inside the cruiser before we headed for the court house. The entire car ride was tense and quiet. You could cut the tension with a knife and slice it several times over. It was as if we all had the same uneasy feeling at the pit of our stomachs, but were too afraid to voice it.

We hurried into the courtroom, holding hands in a show of unity and support. We took our usual seats on Emmett's side. There weren't many people on this side of the court room, and I could feel everyone's eyes burning into our backs. _If looks could kill…_

I spaced out as the proceedings continued. I found out that it was better to let my mind wander rather than listen to the stupid "experts" provide testimony after testimony about how my brother killed the victim. They would describe to an annoying degree of detail how Emmett's height, and use of left hand matched the wounds Wendy received.

I was abruptly taken out of my internal musings when I heard the bailiff call the next witness.

Jacob Black.

Once again, I fainted.

~~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~~

_Los Angeles, CA- Present Day_

I was the most feared and talked about defense lawyer in Los Angeles and I was proud of it. I had worked my ass off to get to where I was, and to have the kind of reputation that would make grown man sweat just by the mention of my name. Nobody messed with Isabella Swan.

After my brother had been wrongfully convicted of murder and was sentenced to life in prison, I made a promise to myself that I would dedicate my life to stop this from happening to someone else. I knew that a lot of people that came through my doors were in fact guilty, and I always turned them down, but I also knew that there where those who were innocent, and I worked my hardest to prove it.

Becoming a lawyer was my one and only goal, and I stood proud in the courtroom the day I was able to prove that my brother was innocent. The lies of someone trying to hurt me had put him in jail, but now the only person in jail was the liar, my ex-best friend Jacob Black.

If only he would have been sentenced to spend as much time as Emmett spent in jail. Unfortunately our justice system didn't have stricter laws against perjury, or I would have made sure he would at least spend five years rotting in hell. It was after all a small price to pay for the ten years Emmett spent in there, and for all the suffering he's been subjected to ever since.

Now Jacob was once again a free man, and he didn't bear the scars that my brother had. He didn't have to sit in jail while the love of his life married another man. He didn't miss graduations and other family events while time went by. And for all of that, I hated Jacob Black.

One day we would be face to face, and that day I would make sure to let him know how much I hated him, and all the vile things that I thought of him. In the meantime, I was dedicating my life to helping those whose cries of innocence fell on deaf ears, those who were condemned and then forgotten by society, cast away like dirt. I worked all types of cases, but the ones closest to my heart were those of convicts ready to walk the green mile, the death row cast outs.

Many people liked to criticize me for delaying sentences, preventing them from getting the final closure that death offered. While other human rights groups continually praised me for all of the inmates that I had been able to help. My track record was excellent and I took pride in the fact that out of ten cases, I had gotten eight of them freed, I had proven them innocent.

The other two cases were a sore subject. One was killed by the state before I was able to prove his innocence, and the other had committed suicide believing that he was beyond help, preferring to die on his own terms. Those had been two new deep scars that had wounded my heart, it hurt as much as seeing Emmett walk in a subdued and resigned pace after being sentenced to life in prison.

_We were back in the courtroom. The same courtroom where my poor brother had been declared guilty. Being there brought terrible memories from that horrible trial. It made my guilt soar. I knew that Jacob had lied to an entire courtroom full of people as payback. I guess I never realized how upset he was with the fact that I had ended our friendship, and now my brother was paying for it._

_I held my breath as the victim's family impact statements were read. Oh those hateful comments. One day they would regret them. Emmett was no monster, he was no devil, he was innocent, and I was going to prove it. I didn't know how, or when, but I was going to be the one to free him, I owed him that much._

_I felt my mom's strong grasp as the judge cleared his throat and called his sentencing, the words life in prison playing over and over in my head like a faulty reel of tape. I sobbed as my poor brother gave me a sad smile and told me, "please take care squirt, I love you," before turning around and facing his new destiny_.

That day will forever be engraved in my heart, a wound that no matter how life improved for us, and how many people I saved, would never fully close. To this day, there were certain things that made me cry for my brother, for all the things that he lost, for a tarnished future, a future that would have made him a Football star if things had turned out different.

These days, Emmett was content enough working on his construction business. It was easy to convince my parents to add my part of the trust fund they had created when we were born to Emmett's so that he could have options once he got out of jail.

I was happy that my brother was now a free man, but I still mourned the part of him that was left behind. I still mourned his easy smiles, the silly jokes, his stupid comments, and his loud personality. All of that was gone. He was the shadow of the young man he once was, and that in itself was a tragedy.

Renee and Charlie's marriage was another casualty created by this mess. The 'what ifs' and the guilt drove a wedge so far in between them, that my mother decided to move to Phoenix, leaving me and Charlie behind. She did visited often while Emmett had been in jail, but once he got out, she decided to move on with her life, and was now happily married to another man, Phil.

I moved out of Forks and to California the day I found out my dad wanted to marry Sue Clearwater. I couldn't believe that my father was so willing to forget that the entire Reservation, including Sue, had stood behind Jacob as he told lie after lie about my brother. I didn't even bother inviting him to my graduation.

Now Emmett and I shared a house on the outskirts of Beverly Hills, and other than the terrible things of our past, we were happy. We made sure of it. We tried to encourage each other to go out there and date, but neither one of us would do it. I knew Emmett still loved Rose, and that there would never be anyone else in his life. My lack of dating had nothing to do with a lost love. I had a great sexual life, but I was not interested in getting attached to anyone. I didn't have the time, but also, if I was honest to myself, I knew that I didn't want to face another heartache, like the one that was caused that fateful summer, the summer when I lost my innocence.

"Bella, may I come in?" my best friend and colleague Angela asked, successfully interrupting my thoughts.

"Hi Angela, please have a seat," I offered as I motioned with my hands to the two plush chairs facing my desk.

While most people at the firm called me Swan, or Miss Swan, Angela and I went all the way back to Forks High, and we were best friends.

"I've been following the Cullen trial and I thought that perhaps you would be interested in it," she said as soon as she sat down.

"I've seen some things on the news, but it was pretty much a slam-dunk. What makes you think I would be interested?"

"Well, although it does look like he's one hundred percent guilty, I'm more inclined to believe that he's not. There is something missing, and I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but I just have this gut feeling," Angela told me.

"I don't know Angela. I have a huge caseload right now, and I'm not so sure he's innocent. From what I gathered, the police found the victim's blood all over his clothing and body. The gun was also found in his possession, and traces from the grass in the victim's back yard were all over his feet and carpet. The fact remains that there was a lot of physical evidence linking him to the case. How could he be innocent?" I asked.

Angela and I constantly bantered over possible cases. She had a good intuition and I almost always followed it, but I knew that she was dead wrong about Cullen. He was as guilty as guilty can be.

"The evidence was too perfect, Bella. When have you seen such a thing? And then there is the whole mysterious witness who didn't offer help to Tanya, who died two hours later from blood loss, but walked three blocks to a pay phone and called the police, accusing Cullen. There is something really wrong with this case," she said with passion and determination.

It was going to be one of those. Every now and then Angela would get emotionally vested in a case, and it was literally impossible to refuse her. She had a natural talent for getting her way; it was after all what made her a good lawyer. If I was a bitch, Angela was the mother shark.

"Well, since you are so passionate about it, please have Jessica pull out all of the information she can gather and I will give it a look when I get a chance. I'm not promising anything however, so please keep yourself in check for your sake and my own," I said with a laugh as Angela gave me a wide grin before hurrying out of my office.

I was not going to admit to her that I had been following this case closer than I led on. There was something about Edward Cullen that was captivating. It was as if his pain was equal to beautiful. More than once I found myself sighing at the depth of his green eyes as his pictures were paraded all over the news.

What a waste!

"Miss Swan, your ten o'clock appointment is here," Jessica said from the door.

"Alright Jessica, please let them in," I told her before straightening up.

I liked to portray my professionalism and capacity with my physical aspect as well as everything else about me so it was very important to make a good first impression. I always made sure to dress to kill. I needed to convey to my clients that I was both strong and successful. They needed to understand that if I took their case, there would be nothing stopping me from proving them innocent, nothing at all.

I tried to recall who my ten o'clock was before realizing a little too late that there was no such appointment on my schedule. I was about to get up and tell Jessica to get rid of the person when I was met by the one person I never expected to find in my office.

Jacob Black.


	5. Dirt Room

**AN: Disclaimers are located in the Prologue (1****st**** Chapter)**

**Songs in this chapter: Dirt Room, Blue October**

**WARNING: This chapter is full of angst and Cliffy happy! ******

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. I did not mean to keep you all waiting this long for an update but I was very ill and could not be trusted with anything that required any sort of coherency. I want to give special thanks to twilightnaley19 who read all of the chapters and reviewed each of them today, motivating me to post day ½ day early. Thanks!!**

**This chapter is dedicated to MyLionMyLamb, just because I can and she's awesome, and I've missed her and she deserves it.**

**Thanks Beate for all the wonderful Beta work, you are awesome!!**

**EPOV**

_A cold sweat was running down the back of my neck, making the collar of my prison jump suite damp and uncomfortable. I needed to grab the items and hide them before the guard took notice of my actions. I had already been in the punishment cell for fighting with the guards and I didn't want to go there again._

_I sighed as the guard turned his attention to me once more and gave me a confused look. "Not hungry today, Cullen?" he asked in a mocking tone._

_I simply stared at him before adverting my eyes away and staring into the blank wall before me._

"_Must be that rotten conscience of yours, you scumbag," he mumbled to himself before glancing out of the cell once more._

_Fucking suicide watch shit. It wasn't enough that I was going to die, they wanted to make sure I made it to the fucking spectacle alive and well. Bastards!_

_I pushed a spoonful of the nasty slop they served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and fought against my gag reflex as I swallowed the shit down. I glanced towards the guard once more, and I had to restrain a grunt when I noticed that he was staring at me once more. Can someone just fucking distract him?_

_And then it happened - a code blue was blared through the speakers, no doubt another death row inmate attempting to take their destiny into their own hands. I wished him success, as I was counting on something similar for myself._

_The guard looked out of my cell before fumbling with his keys. I took advantage of his distraction and took the fork before shoving the food tray against him._

"_Who the hell can survive on this shit?" I yelled as the guard just stared at me, too shocked to react, and I took that one last chance he offered and hid my new weapon underneath my skimpy mattress before I stood up._

_The guard, noticing my threatening stance, quickly reached for his fucking stick before hitting me hard over my arms and shoulders repeatedly. I screamed in agony as I felt one of my ribs break, and I was actually thankful when another guard showed up in my cell and helped the now furious guard out._

_That night, after they had wheeled out my lucky neighbor to the morgue, and after they came back to give me a beating, I sat on the small bed, my back straight against the wall, while my hand rested wedged between the metal frame and the mattress, my fingers stroking the smooth metal of the fork._

_I finally had the means, I never lacked the motivation. I was going to take charge of my destiny…_

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

Of all the grieving stages, denial was not one I had experienced. In fact, the only thing I experienced was anger, pure anger. I had so many reasons to be angry and it seemed like I would be overwhelmed by each and every one of those reasons on a daily basis.

First and foremost I was angry with myself. I was angry at my foolishness and the fact that I had given everything to love. I had taken my whole life and all the hard years of work and dedication and placed them into the hands of someone who gave me nothing but empty promises. I was also angry at the monster that had been born within, the one that kept my actions hidden so that I could never really figure out how I went from saving lives to murdering two people.

I had no problems reliving the dream I had that night over and over, but I could never come up with any images of my actual actions. After months of trying to recall something, anything, all I could truly remember was getting there that night, and seeing them in bed together. Although the rest of that night was blank, it told me enough to believe that I was the monster everybody hated now and that fact fueled my next type of anger.

I was angry at the fact that I could still breathe. I had nothing better to do in this crap hole they call San Quentin other than to hate every single minute that I remained alive. It wasn't fair. Monsters like me should be executed at the moment of sentencing because it takes the misery out of everyone's life once and for all, but I guess it was also part of my punishment. I had to sit in this tiny cell and think about all the things that I had done not only to the people I murdered, but also to my family, to anyone that ever cared about me. Which brought me to my next kind of anger, my loved ones.

I was angry at my family. _How could they still love a monster like me?_ I couldn't understand how they could come visit me and try to convince me that there was hope. It was so insane that they still believed me innocent. I hated the fact that they were wasting their money trying to hire lawyers whose only accomplishment would always be to delay the inevitable. My death.

Other times I would remember what started this entire nightmare, Tanya. I hated the bitch so much. She not only lied to me about her love, but she made it her goal to destroy every single thing that I had worked so hard for. Then there was James, my fucking best friend. He was one of those boys that always needed saving, he always needed my help. I protected him against bullies, I gave him direction and encouragement when he wanted to drop out of school and get a job somewhere. I even gave the bastard shelter when he would over spend his money and was played by one of his many girlfriends.

The root of my anger however was not Tanya, James, my family, friends, or all the things that I lost, and the ones that I was yet to lose. My anger was at the fact that no matter how evil Tanya and James had been, they didn't deserve to be murdered, and much less by my own hand. _How did I let things get so out of hand that I forgot who I was? How did I allow this monster to overtake me?_

_I'm like a ghost  
I'll be living in a dirt room  
Waiting for the day to be closer  
To the window when you're home  
I'll be standing by your back door  
Reaching for the knife in my coat  
I'm going to put it to your throat  
Sweaty piggy, you're a bad man  
What a fucking sad way to go  
Your mother raised you as a joke  
I should have wiped away a burden  
Use the curtain in the kitchen to choke  
You…  
_  
I couldn't understand how I had decided to stalk them, witnessing in misery their unabashed loving before entering the darkest corners of my soul and finding the monster within. I moved forward in the darkness, taking each step with deliberation, never faltering or hesitating._ If only I could know what I was thinking at that moment. What had been my justification?_

I got up from my small bed and I screamed at the top of my lungs, "FUCK YOU WORLD, JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE", before tearing the nasty, smelly mattress from the bed, placing it against the wall and hitting it with all I had. _Would I ever find peace?_

No, not as long as I remained alive, fucking alive, that was truly the problem. There was no end in sight to my miserable life, not if my family could help it.

_Why didn't I kill myself like in the nightmare?_ Surely if I had the fucking balls to put a gun against Tanya's temple and pull the trigger, I could have also had the balls to kill myself. _Why the fuck couldn't I remember the ending?_

_You think you own me  
You should have known me  
You took the future and the food off my family's plate  
You think you'll use me  
But I'm stronger than you  
You take my money, but it's useless  
When see what I do to you  
Look what I do to you_

Now I had this mess on my hands. They were covered in blood and it didn't matter how many times I tried to rinse them, the blood would never leave them. I was tainted, marked with the sign of the beast, I was the devil incarnate, pure evil. I loathed myself. _Why was I even born?_

It was not fair that my parents had created me out of love. They had loved me as a baby, nurtured me, gave me the world, and the only way I repaid them was to become the monster we all feared. I was a fucking disgusting criminal. I did not deserve the life I had been given.

How do you tell a mother that her son, her little angel, was nothing more than a coward who killed innocent people rather than facing life head on? How could said mother stand by such an ungrateful son and believe that regardless of all the evidence that was provided, regardless of all the facts, he was still innocent? How could a family who had done nothing but help others smear their name so much just to show support to the one who betrayed their love, their beliefs? The one who destroyed it all. Me.

_Oh god then you awoke  
You started screaming through the duct tape  
Don't ever think I'm letting you go  
I'm busy digging you a hole  
Now you'll be living in a dirt room  
Breathing through the straw of your own  
Co… Co… Co… Come on  
I really think that this is fun for the money  
I'll make it comfy for the time wasted making you rich  
I want to cover you in ants, bees and honey  
Then take a picture for the cover of our album!  
_  
Oh how I wanted to hate James and Tanya for this. I wanted nothing more than to place all the blame over their dead bodies and spit on their graves while their flesh wasted away into the great nothing of this earth. How I wished I could remember their punishment and how I wished I could deliver it over and over, not because of their betrayal, but because they made me into this fucking mess, they made me evil and I just wanted to hate someone for it, anyone.

I wanted to rip the skin off my body and make my eyes bleed as I punctured them over and over rather than to have to see my mother's sad look once again. I wanted to rip my heart out and hand it to my father because I knew I was killing his. I wanted to cut myself into little pieces and pour acid all over my body rather than to watch my family waste away because of me. I needed to end my life, not because I wanted to end my misery, but because I wanted, no I needed, to end my family's suffering. I didn't deserve them.

_You think you own me  
You should have known me  
You took the future and the food off my family's plate  
You think you'll use me  
But I'm stronger than you  
You take my money, but it's useless  
When see what I do to you…_

I flipped the mattress over and I fumbled with the material before locating my precious piece of metal. My afterlife delivery choice of weapon, as if I even had a choice. I ran my now trembling hands over the smooth texture of the cold metal fork and I closed my eyes before imagining how life could improve for my family without me.

I imagined the big sighs of relief they would all take as the dirt hit my casket once it was lowered into the dark depths of my new hell. I imagined them walk hand in hand with regret, not because they lost me, but because they loved me. They had wasted so much fucking love on me and I had given them nothing in return.

Then I imagined Tanya's father pissing all over my grave as he laughed a dark, humorless laugh because he knew exactly where I was headed. It was the same hell he was going to be living in once he finally left this earth. I groaned as I realized that I was no better than him. I may have not slapped Tanya around, but I put a fucking bullet through her head. I had completed what he didn't get to do to her. I was worse than him.

_You think you own me  
You should have known me  
You took the future and the food off my family's plate  
You think you'll use me  
But I'm stronger than you  
You take my money, but it's useless  
When see what I do to you  
_

Now it was the time to deliver. I needed to act fast or the guards would stop me and I couldn't afford to remain alive for a second longer. Slowly, my muscles moving on autopilot, I moved the mattress from the wall and placed it over the frame. I lifted the corner of my shirt up and I wiped the sweat off my brow before sitting down, trying to calm by ragged breathing.

Not five minutes later, a bored out of his mind guard made his way to my cell, looking around the space before slowly moving forward. I realized then that I had been holding my breath, afraid that my outburst might have alerted them of my intentions and that they would enter my cell and do a search for anything I might use.

_What else could they take from me_, I wondered. I couldn't even have a fucking pair of shoe laces.

_And now I see you, oh  
'Cause your back's against the wall  
And finally you're mine  
You're mine…_

After waiting for the guard to be out of hearing range, I took the fork from underneath me and I stared at it with intensity. It was not sharp nor very big. This was going to be very difficult. Luckily for me, I knew where I needed to cut so that I could cause the most damage the fastest and reduce my chances of being saved.

I knew that the medical facilities were at the far end of the floor and if luck was on my side I wouldn't be discovered until it was time for the next round, giving time for my body to bleed out. It was going to be a slow, painful death but after all I had done it was a very small price to pay.

In a perfect world I would have a gun and I would place the barrel to my mouth, maybe to my temple, or maybe on the right side of my neck, perforating both my jugular and carotid arteries. All of these provided a quick and easy solution. However, I lived in a far from perfect world. I lived in a world where I was the killer, I was the evil being, and there was no gun to ease my death. All I had was a bloody blunt fork.

_You think you own me  
You should have known me  
You took the future and the food off my family's plate  
You think you'll use me  
But I'm stronger than you  
You take my money, but it's useless  
When see what I do to you  
_

I wiped the cold sweat that had accumulated on my forehead before clutching the fork next to my chest. I was saddened that I would be unable to leave parting words for my parents. I would be unable to ask for their forgiveness and to ask them to move on with their lives. Perhaps it was for the better. I would be out of their lives in a fast passing moment, a clean break sort of speak. All I could hope for now was that somehow in the near future they would be able to find peace, that they would be able to forget me and move on.

One by one I unclenched my fingers from the fork and I stared at it lying in my open hand. I moved my other hand to caress the right side of my neck, the place where I was going to inflict my wound. The skin there was warm and soft and I could feel my steady pulse underneath my fingertips. Soon the pulse would slow down as the blood drained slowly from my body.

It was time to act. I was ready.

_I really think that this is fun for the money  
I'll make you comfy for the time wasted making you rich  
I want to cover you in ants, bees and honey  
Then take a picture for the cover of our album!_

I took a deep breath and clenched the fork in my hand, my fingers wrapped on the handle in a deadly grip. I swung my arm upwards before moving my neck to the side, exposing the right side, and I brought it down, to the most sensitive spot, in a swift and quick motion. The End…

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**BPOV**

Jacob Black.

Traitor, lying piece of scum, ex-friend, Jacob Black. _What the hell was he doing in my office, in LA?_ I straightened my back before standing right in front of him and stared him down with my perfected icy stare.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he shifted nervously in place.

"Bella…"

"It is Miss Swan to you now. You've got some balls coming in here, what do you want?" I asked again in a calm and collected voice.

I had prepared for this moment for years. I had learned how to stare someone down to the point where they would want to dig a hole in the floor and crawl through it. I had also learned to control my emotions and only portray a calm and collected exterior. I was one hundred percent in control of my persona, even if my insides were screaming while spinning around in an emotional turmoil.

Jacob hesitated before clearing his throat and giving me his best puppy eye look. I hurled a little inside while I maintained my cold and threatening stance.

"I'm sorry, um, Miss Swan? I was hoping we could talk?" He said, his words paused and shaky, his sentences coming out like a question. He was nervous and I was in control, perfect.

"Talk? Really? You honestly thought you could crawl from under whatever rock you came from and stand before me and have a conversation with me? What makes you think I want to talk?" I asked incredulously, my constructed exterior only shaking a little bit, the change too small for him to take notice.

"Yes. I need to apologize to you and Emmett for all I've done. I just…" I cut him off before he continued.

"Save it Mr. Black," I said in a slightly angrier voice, making sure to pronounce Mr. Black slowly so there was no sense of familiarity in there, "I will never accept your apology, and if you know what's best for you, you will stay away from Emmett. You have no idea how much he hates you."

"I understand if neither one of you can forgive me since I haven't been able to forgive myself. What I did was cruel and evil. I know I can never give all those years back to Emmett, or to you and your family. I am so sorry Bella."

"NO!" I yelled. My calm and cold exterior crumbling into pieces.

"You don't get to come here and apologize. You don't get to make it easier on yourself by telling me that you're sorry. You don't get to come into my world and tell me things in order for you to forgive yourself. You are a worthless piece of shit, Mr. Black, and I suggest that you leave my office right this second or I will not be held accountable for my actions," I yelled at the top of my lungs, professionalism and calmness long gone.

"I understand that you hate me, Bella, as I have earned that hate, but I won't give up on our friendship. Not this time," he said in a collected and resigned voice.

"Our friendship? What a joke! You are nothing to me, Mr. Black, nothing! You could drop dead right this second and forever disappear from the face of this earth for all I care. Don't fool yourself into thinking that there is anything in here left to salvage because the only thing you are going to find is disgust and hate."

"I'm going to make it up to you two somehow, Bella. I will prove myself worthy of your forgiveness someday. I promise you that," he said before turning around to leave.

"Don't waste your time. You stopped being part of our lives a long time ago. It is as if you were never born, as if you never existed. You are worthless of even the most devious of thoughts. You are nothing, and that's what you will be for us for the rest of your pathetic life, a big blob of nothing," I said in a shaky voice, the anger coming out of me in spurs. I took a deep breath and tried to reel the monster in, to calm myself once more.

Jacob turned around. The look of his face was one of pure pain. For a second I wanted to run and hug him. I wanted to forgive all the things that he had done and go back to those days were I was just an innocent girl, days when my only worry was to be mistaken for Jacob's girlfriend, to cross a line that would forever ruin our friendship. I wanted to tell him that he was forgiven and for the very first time in a long time, take a deep breath and feel at peace with myself because hating Jacob was taking the best part of me, and it was leaving the most horrible, cold, and jaded person in its wake, someone incapable of love.

However, it was never going to happen. I was never going to forgive how he destroyed my brother's life, my family, and then mine. I would never forget all the years we spent trying to undo what he had done so that we could free Emmett from that jail hell. I knew that as long as I saw Emmett's resigned and sad expression, I would never be able to think of Jacob as anything else but a coward, a fucking liar.

Jacob must have take notice of all the emotions circulating my mind at that moment and slowly he started to inch forward. He opened his arms and was about to embrace me when I woke from my stupor and realized that he was here right now, in front of me, and that all I could feel was repulse. I slapped him square in the face, as hard as I could muster, leaving a red mark in its place, my fingers clearly marked on his smooth russet skin.

He looked at me in shock, a tear running down his face as I struck him again, and again, and again. All those years of hating him, all those years of wishing I could inflict even the tiniest amount of pain that he had inflicted on Emmett, on all of us, all of those years came back as I slapped his face repeatedly.

He just stood there, taking slap after slap just as you would take a feather landing softly on your face. His expression showed no pain or anger, only sadness. I made a fist and I punched him in the eye, and he finally reacted, grabbing my hand before I had the chance to throw another punch.

"Was that good for you?" he asked in a dead voice. "Are you done?"

"I hate you Jacob, I fucking hate you," I cried before he crashed his body against mine and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry Bella, I am so sorry. I know I'm not worthy of your forgiveness, but I beg you, please forgive me Bella," he whispered in my ear before I pushed him back and I freed myself from his embrace.

"Never. Do you hear me? I will never forgive you," I spat, the ice queen finally regaining her composure.

"You are not a hateful person, Bella. I know you'll forgive me, perhaps not now, or not even in the immediate future, but you will someday," he stated with such conviction it nearly made me doubt myself.

"And what makes you be so sure of that?" I asked in a mocking tone.

"Because I will not rest, I will not leave, I will not do anything until I make it up to both you and Emmett. I will fight for this forgiveness like I never had the courage to fight for our friendship. I will give it my all, and I will not give up, even if I die trying, because at least I would have done something, anything, to erase all the pain, all the hurt that I so easily delivered."

He got on his knees right in front of me and forcefully grabbed my hand as I tried to fight him off. "I will earn your forgiveness Bella, you just watch me," he stated before placing a kiss on the upside of my hand, standing up, and turning once again to leave.


	6. Gamble

**AN: Disclaimers on prologue.**

**Hello everyone! I am really sorry it took so long to upload this chapter, but real life gets in the way sometimes. **

**Thank you for all the reviews, your support and enthusiasm keep me going and motivate me to write more.**

**Thank You Beate for your hard work on this chapter!**

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**BPOV**

Jacob got up from the floor and was turning to leave when Angela rushed into my office.

"Bella, I have some bad news about Mr. Cullen. He… Oops. Did I interrupt something?" She asked as she eyed Jacob and me with an inquisitive look.

"No, Mr. Black was already on his way out the door," I snapped before giving Jacob a nasty look while I drummed my fingers in a gesture of impatience against my hip.

"Are you going to be defending Mr. Cullen?" Jacob asked.

"No - Yes," Both Angela and I said in unison.

"Great, now I know how I can begin to repay you," Jacob said with a wide grin on his face.

"Get the hell out of my office Mr. Black, and don't ever come back," I yelled as he exited my office.

Something told me that this was not the last time I would hear from Jacob Black, and the thought irritated me to no end.

"Mr. Black? _The_ Jacob Black?" Angela asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, but I'm not in the mood to discuss it," I said before she was able to launch into a hundred rapid fire questions.

"Fine, but what was that about not representing Cullen? I thought you said that you will give it some thought," Angela asked.

"I said I would give it some thought, true, but I never said we would be taking his case, and as the senior partner of this firm, I want to discourage you from getting involved on it," I said in what I hoped was a firm and final tone.

"Err… it may be a little too late for that," Angela whispered.

"What? What do you mean it's too late? What the hell did you do?" I asked, effectively losing my cool for the second time in less than an hour.

"Well, the thing is Edward, err I mean Mr. Cullen tried to commit suicide yesterday evening. They were going to have him transferred to a Psych unit and he was refusing, so I may have stepped out and said that as the firm representing him, we believe that he was in no further danger of injuring himself and that we were not in agreement with the transfer request," she answered in a fast and nervous tone.

"You did what? How could you do such a thing Angela? First of all, the board needs to approve our involvement in such a case. Secondly you did not request my authorization to speak on our behalf, heck, you didn't even have authorization to visit the jail facility or Mr. Cullen. Third, who the hell qualified you as a Psychiatrist? You don't know the first thing about psychology and you don't know for a fact that Mr. Cullen will not attempt to commit suicide once more. Now we are in a lot of trouble, especially if he decides to try and take his life again. We are now liable for his safety and we are now defending someone I am pretty sure is guilty. How could you?" I asked, my irritation palpable.

"Bella, I'm really sorry for taking things in my own hands like that. I understand if you wish to fire me, but please do not believe Mr. Cullen is guilty. I have a gut feeling about this, and after interviewing his sister and his mother, I know that Edward would never have been capable of such a thing," she pleaded.

"Edward? Edward! Do you hear yourself? You are so emotionally vested in this case that you are calling him by his first name. So now, not only do I have to clean up your mess, but I also have to remove you from the case because it would not be ethical for you to be involved in his defense when you are already biased about him," I grunted in defeat.

"Does that mean we are officially taking the case?" Angela asked without skipping a beat.

"No, I don't know. There is something about this case that is urging me to run the other direction, bury the thing and forget about it. I'm pretty sure it's the fact that he's as guilty as they proved him to be. There's no way I'm going to fight to prove a guilty person innocent. I will not put a criminal out on the streets Angela," I yelled.

"But he's not guilty Bella, please trust me. When have my instincts let us down? Trust me, after meeting his family, and meeting him, your opinion will change. There's just something about him that screams innocent," Angela literally begged.

"This is a big gamble and a huge thing to ask of me, Angela. I'm afraid that if things go wrong on this one, I will have to ask for your resignation. Are you sure you want to put all of that on the line? Are you willing to risk the career that you have worked so hard for? Is this man worth it?"

"Yes, I am absolutely certain. If I'm proven wrong, then I'll desist from practicing law for the rest of my life. He's worth it Bella, you'll see," Angela responded in a solemn tone.

"Fine, let's do this then," I said and at that moment I was filled with an emotion I could not place. Was it excitement? Hope? Although I was not ready to admit that I had been following the case closely to Angela, something told me that what I had been hoping since I became obsessed with his case, was that he was in fact innocent.

"Excellent, " Angela all but squealed.

"Now, tell me more about Mr. Cullen," I asked.

"Why don't I tell you about him instead?" a voice asked, startling both me and Angela.

"I'm sorry Miss Swan, I tried to stop her but she just walked right in," a sheepish looking Jessica said from behind the tiny woman. She was petite, but she was beautiful. Her black hair shined as it stood into a hundred different directions around her head. Her delicate features made her look almost like an elf or a fairy.

"It's alright Jessica, I'll take it from here," Angela said before smiling at the woman.

As soon as Jessica shut my door, Angela turned to me, "Bella, I would like you to meet Mrs. Alice Whitlock, she's Mr. Cullen's sister."

"Nice to meat you Mrs. Whitlock," I said in a cold voice that meant business.

"Please just call me Alice. Mrs. Whitlock sounds like my mother in law, and thank you Ange," Mrs. Whitlock replied as she extended her hand.

"I'm afraid we like to remain neutral and professional with all of our clients Mrs. Whitlock. I hope that it will be alright with you," I replied curtly.

"Alright have it your way, but I don't think you will be calling me that for long, trust me," she replied with such air of confidence I found myself almost believing her.

"So what brings you here?" I asked, getting straight to business.

"You were right Ange, she's quite the shark," Mrs. Whitlock smiled as she glanced towards one of my chairs and then glanced back at me.

"Please have a seat," I said, taking the hint.

"Thank you."

"So I assume that you have decided to take the case?" Mrs. Whitlock asked once she was seated.

"My colleague here seems to have left me with little choice on the matter. Now, I need to know everything you can spare about Mr. Cullen. I will not move forward with any defense unless I am one hundred percent certain that he's innocent," I said.

"Alice will be able to provide you with anything you need to move forward with the case," Angela added with a smile.

"Will she be able to prove to me that he's innocent?" I asked sarcastically.

"My brother IS innocent. I just need help trying to figure out who did this to him," Mrs. Whitlock replied, not skipping a beat.

"I'm not sure I follow, what exactly do you mean when you say who did this to him?" I asked, mentally preparing myself for her conspiracy theory.

"Let me ask you a question. Since you've been following the case so closely, would you have convicted believing that there was no reasonable doubt?" she asked, surprising me. It was almost as if she was previewing my moves before I got a chance to act on them.

"I.. I," I stuttered.

"Please, Miss. Swan, let's not play games. I saw you at the courtroom several times. Are you going to try to deny that you were following the case?" she asked as Angela looked at her in shock.

'You've been following the case?" Angela asked in both awe and a little bit of anger.

"Well, I thought it was an interesting case. The evidence was so cut and clean, and well, I just... Yes," I finally relented.

"How come you never mentioned this fact?" Angela asked, not bothering to disguise the hurt in her voice.

"Perhaps for the same reasons you neglected to tell me you were more than familiarized with Mrs. Whitlock here," I said, successfully shutting down any arguments she was preparing to come up with. Angela and I had been colleagues for so long that we knew each other very well, not to mentioned all the years we spent together in school.. I also knew that no one called her Ange, unless the person was considered a close friend.

"Alright, going back to my brother," Mrs. Whitlock said as she interrupted our staring contest, "what would you like to know Miss Swan?"

"Everything. I need to know him better than he knows himself, Mrs. Whitlock. Do you think you can deliver?" I asked.

"Of course, but only if you tell me if you will be able to save him," she replied.

"If Mr. Cullen is in fact innocent, I will spare no resources, time, or anything in my power to prove him so. That's a promise, Mrs. Whitlock," I said.

"I can live with that," she said before launching into a detailed account of who Edward Cullen was.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

It was almost ten o'clock in the evening when Mrs. Whitlock was finally done telling us all the details of Mr. Cullen's life. If the evidence hadn't been so strong against him, I would have believed without a doubt that he was an innocent man.

I found myself drawn to all the details his sister had to offer. At first glance, Mr. Cullen seemed reserved, and perhaps even a little introverted, but underneath the surface, he seemed like a very selfless and caring person. He was artistic, compassionate, and up until he met Tanya Denali, his supposed victim, he has been a dedicated son and brother.

I drilled Mrs. Whitlock about her relationship with the victim and why they had stood by, against their better judgment, and allowed Mr. Cullen to make such a monumental mistake. That was her breaking point. I could see now that no matter the outcome of all of this, Mrs. Whitlock would never be able to forgive herself for standing by while her brother gave his all to who she called a "heartless gold digging monster".

"Bella?" Angela called from behind me as I exited my office and made my way towards the elevators.

"Can we talk tomorrow? I want to get home and talk to Emmett. Today has been such a long day," I said.

"Alright then, but please give what Alice told you some thought. I know that she's right, and I just need you to believe that so that we can move forward," she begged.

"Answer me just one thing before I go," I said as we both entered the elevator and I pressed the B button so that we could get off at the office's basement parking lot.

"Shoot," Angela said.

"How could you? You knew these people and you still decided to gamble with not just your career, but mine as well, just to defend your friend's brother. Do I mean nothing to you?" I asked, letting the hurt show through for the first time today.

"It's because I know these people, and because I believe wholeheartedly in his innocence that I did it. I don't believe I'm gambling with your career, Bella. This is the sort of case that you worked so hard to become a lawyer for. Do I need to remind you what that witness did for your brother's case?" she asked.

"No, you don't. I have no reason to doubt you, but I also don't have a lot of faith in his innocence to be perfectly honest. I know his sister is full of good intentions and that Mr. Cullen may indeed have been all those things she believes he was, but people change Angela, and there's no concrete evidence, not a single thread of hope that points us in the other direction.

"I know I'm putting everything for both of us on the line here, but Bella, I don't think you will regret this. I'm sorry for forcing you into this without your consent. I thought that you would see things my way once you met Alice. I guess I was wrong about that," Angela said with regret.

"If Mr. Cullen is indeed innocent, then we have our work cut out for us, don't we? Let's meet first thing tomorrow morning. I need you to brief me on all the case details and what you know about Mr. Cullen so far. I have a feeling Mrs. Whitlock just gave me the sugar coated version," I said to Angela while I offered her a weak smile. I was beyond angry at the situation but I needed to get us out of this one somehow.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

As soon as I walked through the door of the house I shared with Emmett I knew something was wrong. All the lights were turned off and I couldn't even hear the TV. Emmett always liked to relax in front of the TV after a hard day at work.

I turned the light in the Kitchen on and I hanged the keys on one of the hooks Emmett had installed on the wall before placing my purse on top of the corner counter top and headed to the common living area.

"Emmett?" I called.

I stood in the middle of the family room as still as I could in an attempt to hear any noise coming from anywhere from the house, but it was dead quiet.

"Emmett?" I called again, the tone of fear now evident in my voice.

"He was here," Emmett said from behind me, making me jump in shock. I hadn't heard him coming.

"Who?" I asked, but upon seeing his face I realized that I already knew the answer, Jacob.

"Why would he come all the why here and stir the past like that?" Emmett asked in a monotone voice. Although he was in front of me, it seemed like he was miles away, in a world of his own.

"What did the bastard say to you, Emmett?" I asked, successfully snapping him out if his stupor.

"He came to apologize, to me. Can you believe that?" Emmett asked as he started to chuckle.

I was about to respond but Emmett's chuckles quickly turned into hysterical laughter, shortly followed by gut wrenching sobs as he plummeted down onto the floor.

"Emmett!" I gasped before kneeling in front of him and grabbing him by the shoulders. "Please Emmett, tell me what he said," I begged as Emmett continued to sob, all the while trying to avert his eyes from mine. He had done that countless times, always embarrassed to show me any kind of weakness.

"He… he…, can you believe that asshole! He came to fucking apologize for ruining my life. Can he fucking turn back the time I lost in that fucking cell and give me my dreams back?" Emmett finally reacted, the anger evident in his voice.

"He fucking ruined everything that mattered to me and he just strolls in here like it's fucking nothing and asks for forgiveness. I wanted to kill him Bella, oh God, I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and choke him until there was no air left in his miserable body. I wanted to throw him against the wall, smack his head around the concrete and kick him in the balls several times before pissing on his face. I hate that fucking asshole," he screamed.

"Emmett, please calm down, please, you are scaring me," I begged.

"I will never forget breaking our parents hearts over and over as I was sentenced to life in prison. I will never forget the day Rose, oh God, my poor Rose, she… she told me that she was done waiting," he sobbed, " that she needed to move on for both of our sakes and that she was getting married to another man. I fucking loved her, and I couldn't stop her. I had to sit in that miserable place and encourage her to move on, to let me rot in peace. I didn't know you see, I had no idea that I was going to come out and be a free man again, otherwise, oh fuck, otherwise I would not have given up on us."

"Emmett, I'm still here. You still have me," I pleaded with him.

"You, my little innocent sister. I let you down so many times and here you are, still holding strong for all of us, still picking up the pieces, yet it is you that I've missed the most," he said in a quiet voice.

"Me?" I asked confused.

"Yes, you," he responded before looking me in the eyes and grabbing both of my hands," I miss you the most. You used to be such a happy girl, so full of dreams. You always wanted to have a family, to have a nice wedding, live somewhere nice, raise a lot of kids. You wanted to care for our parents, and be the spoiling aunt of my kids with Rose…" he sobbed then, the emotion of it all getting the best of him once more.

After a while, he cleared his throat and moved his hands so that he could wipe the tears that had unknowingly fallen down my face.

"You are a different person now. You are cold, calculative, you hate men, and you are not planning on having a family. Your smiles are forced and empty. I feel so responsible for that," he paused.

"Emmett, please don't," I begged.

"But I do Bella, I feel so responsible for your changes. You are but a shell of the young lady I left before going to jail. If I'm responsible of any murder, it's yours. I killed you Bella. I turned you into this machine with just one goal on her mind… revenge," he said before lowering his head in shame.

"No Emmett. Please don't say that. The only asshole responsible for me being this way is Jacob. I wished he would have never shown up here and stirred up so many things from the past," I lamented.

"Things that should have never been buried, my little sister. Things that have stayed on the backs of our minds and that still dictate how we act, and how we do things right now. As much as I wanted to hurt Jacob, I also realized that I needed to move on as well, that you need to move on just as bad as I do."

"What are you trying to say Emmett?" I asked.

"I'm leaving Bella. I'm going back to Washington and I'm going to try and repair things with dad, and then, well then I'm going to look for Rosalie and tell her that I still love her, even if she doesn't love me. Once I do that, I am going to figure out a way to forgive Jacob Black, to let him have his own peace, and after that, I am just going to move on. I need to move on Bella. I need to forget, and most of all, I need to forgive," he declared, looking me dead in the eyes once more.

"I can't…" I whispered.

"What?"

"I can't forgive, much less forget. This is who I am now, and I hope you can accept that," I said.

"Bella, please you can't continue to live like this. What about all those dreams of yours? Don't you think it's time to let it all go?" he asked.

"No Emmett, those dreams are no longer there. My goals are completely different, and to be honest with you, I like who I am. I love my job, I love helping people, it makes me happy."

"But what about your personal happiness, Bella?"

"I'm happy seeing you free and wanting to recuperate the things that were lost, and go for things you have wanted to achieve for so many years. Nothing else matters to me," I said in a firm voice.

"No, Bella, please listen, you…" but I cut him off.

"No, Emmet, you listen. I'm happy that you want to take this step, and although I'm going to miss you very much, I know that you need this badly. I can even accept the fact that you want to forgive Jacob, but I'm not going to go down that path. There are too many bandages on my heart to open new ones. I'm safe where I'm at, and that's what matters."

"You can't live your life trying to save others while guarding your heart so much, Bella. Don't you see that you are headed for a path of pure solitude? You need to break down all those walls once and for all and just live your life the way you were supposed to live it. I ruined your chances at happiness and it kills me to see you are just a shell of the baby sister I once knew, the one who had all the future figured out, and who wanted nothing more than to have a big family," Emmett said as fresh tears ran down his face.

"I can't Emmett, I just…" but he cut me off this time.

"Please Bella, just do this for me, please! I would feel so much better if you at least gave it some thought," he said in a pleading voice.

"I don't know, Emmett. I guess I'll think about it, ok?" I said.

"Thank You!" he said before turning around and heading to his bedroom, surely to pack his things.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**The day before…**

**EPOV**

I shut my eyes hard in anticipation to the pain before swinging down the fork towards my neck. I held my breath, clenched my left fist and prepared for the impact when someone grabbed my hand, jerking it backwards before forcing the fork out of my hand.

"Let me go," I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Not in this life, Cullen. Did you really think we would let you get off that easily?" the guard asked as my cell filled up with two other guards.

"Fuck You!"

"The only one who's fucked is you. Let's move him," the last guard to arrive ordered. I recognized him as the top dog on the guard hell, Torres.

I tried to resist the other two guards as they forced me out of the cell. My feet dragged against the hard concrete as they took me to the prison's clinic. I yelled profanities as they strapped me to a gurney, completely immobilizing me. I laid there for who knows how long as people came in and out of the room. The nurse staff had pity looks on their faces, but the guards looked at me with pure hatred.

"Did you really think we would let you get off so easy, Cullen?" Torres asked me with a smug grin on his face.

"Fuck You!" I yelled.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Torres. This inmate is in no condition to tolerate your harassment," a young woman, who seemed to be the doctor on duty, said.

"Oh, come on sweet cheeks. I was just having some fun," Torres said as he approached her.

"You stay the hell away from me, Torres or…"

"Or what? Nothing, right? I thought so. See you later, Cullen. I have been dying for a good work out," Torres said before leaving the small room. I gave an involuntary shudder as I realized exactly the kind of work out he was thinking about getting, beating the crap out of me.

"Are you alright?" the woman asked, startling me.

"No. Why couldn't they just let me do it?" I asked before turning my head to the side and ignoring her all together.

Hours passed before I was released from my confines and moved into one of the rooms used for lawyer visits.

"What the hell?" I asked.

"You have a visitor," Johnson spat.

I was lead to a table in the middle of the room and made to sit down.

"I've got my eye on you, Cullen. Your little stint earlier has earned you a lot more attention," Johnson said before snapping the other side of the handcuffs in each of my wrists to the chair.

"Why are you doing this? I have a right to be here, no need to chain me down," I yelled.

"Do you really think we are going to let you loose so you can try and finish the job?" Johnson snorted.

"That's enough guard. Please stop harassing my client right now," a petite woman with long dark brown hair and bright blue eyes ordered as she strutted inside the room.

"Hello Mr. Cullen. My name is Miss. Weber, and I am your new representation," she said with pride in her voice as she took the seat right across from mine.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked. I was angry that my family had sent yet another lawyer. I was sick of this and in no mood to deal with anyone after the earlier events.

"Your attempt to sound hostile does not fool me, Edward," She said my name. My fucking name. Who the hell did she think she was?

"It's Mr. Cullen to you," I said.

"And before you get started, let me just tell you that I'm guilty as charge and that I have no interest in prolonging my time here at lovely San Quentin. So why don't we save each other's time and you get the fuck out of here and never come back?"

"Not so easy. This little attitude may have worked with all the losers I'm sure paraded over here, but not with me, carrot head," she spat as she gave me a smug grin.

She called me carrot head, only one person calls me that.

"Angie?" I asked in shock.

"About freaking time. Now let's stop the theatrics and promise me that you will not act like a selfish bastard again and try to kill yourself," she yelled.

"What the hell are you doing here, Angie? Your firm, if I remember from what Alice has told me, only defends innocent people. Don't you see I'm not innocent?" I pleaded with her.

"I know you are innocent, Edward, and I'm going to prove it to you before I prove it to the rest of the world. I'm pretty sure after breaking a few rules by being here today, I won't be your main lawyer, but I will work hard to get your sorry ass out of here and straightening you up for good," she said with such conviction that I was left without any rebuttal comments.

"Now, this suicide shit needs to stop or the little privileges you have will go down the drain. What the hell where you thinking doing that to your family, your mother? Hasn't your stupidity given them enough grief?" Angie asked as she stood from her chair and started to pace in front of me, her fists clenched.

"I'm going to die regardless. Who cares how it's done?" I asked as anger boiled over once again.

"Listen to me carefully as I'm only going to say this once more. You are not going to die, not on my watch, and not while I can still practice law. You are not guilty of this, I just know it, and I'm going to prove it, whether you like it or not. Now, let's stop the bickering and tell me you will not try to kill yourself again."

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**AN2: Before I get flamed for Emmett's decision, please consider that he is in a bad place right now and has not moved on since he was convicted, neither has Bella. They have both fed on their hatred and disappointment for so long that they have forgotten how to live, and although he's not ready to forgive Jacob, it opened his eyes and made him realized that he was a free man, but still living like a convicted felon. See you next time!!**


	7. Author Note

Just a quick AN on behalf of Keyla (Ezzery) who was in a near fatal accident Friday (June 5th), and was badly injured. She is going to take some time off from FanFiction to heal and to rest. She isn't going to abandon any of her writing, no need to worry about that. But she does need some time away from writing. I can promise you Keyla will be back stronger and better.

Beate


	8. Are You Guilty?

**AN: Disclaimers on the Prologue.**

**I want to start this by thanking every one of you for your thoughts and comments while I got better after my accident. I was touched that so many of you took the time to express your concerns for my health and wellbeing. Thank you so much.**

**My husband and I are doing much better, at least physically, and taking it one day at a time. Being faced with the possibility of death in such a sudden and unexpected way certainly makes you ponder about who you are, and where you are going with your life. I am very lucky to be alive and the thought still boggles my mind.**

**I also want to thank you all for your patience in waiting for this chapter. I hope that I can get back to a more consistent posting schedule, but right now I'm still in a great deal of pain and not the most coherent person when I take pain meds, so I can't promise you when the next chapter will be written and posted. For all of you who read Fingerprint, I am working on the next chapter as we speak and I hope I can have it posted sometime this week as well. **

**I also want to apologize for the short chapter, but I hope the next one is much lengthier.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Beate, she has been a great friend and has been there for me in this trying times. Thank you so much for being my friend and for "betaing" the ramblings of a distracted mind!**

**~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~**

**BPOV**

I stood against the front door frame, my arms wrapped around my chest as I tried unsuccessfully to hold my broken heart in place as I watched Emmett put his things in his car. Once his things were placed in the car, he closed the trunk and looked back at me.

A traitor tear ran down my face as he made his way to where I was standing and took me in his arms.

"I'm going to miss you sis. Please take care, and think about what I said," he pleaded before placing a kiss on my forehead and letting go of me.

"I will," I whispered.

Emmett gave me a half smile before he pinched my cheek and turned to leave.

"Oh, Emmi, I'm going to miss you so much," I called after him before I launched myself into his awaiting arms.

"Everything will be alright, Bella," he whispered in a soothing voice as if sensing my despair. I hugged him with all my strength before letting him go, and looking at him straight in the eyes.

"You better keep in touch, Emmett, or so help me God, I will go up there and drag your ass back here," I finally said once I regained my composure.

"Of course I will. I'll miss you too," he said before walking towards the car and giving me one last wave.

As soon as Emmett was gone I changed into my workout clothes, grabbed my iPod and started to stretch in preparation for my run. I had a long day ahead and running was the only thing that cleared my mind and allowed me to collect myself completely.

I ran for three miles before deciding to head back home. Today would be the day that I would meet Mr. Cullen and I wanted to get some things in order at the office before I made the trip up to San Francisco.

I had just stepped out of the shower when my iPhone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"_Bella, is Angela."_

"Hey, Angela. What's going on? Are you ready for our trip?" I asked.

"_I think I must have picked up a stomach flu or something because I've been up all night sick. You are going to have to visit Mr. Cullen on your own."_

Great, just fucking great. Angela was supposed to drive with me and make the introduction easier as he was refusing to receive any more legal counsel and now I would have to handle this on my own.

"I'm sorry you are not feeling well, Angela, but you have terrible timing. I think it's best that I postpone my trip to San Quentin until you feel better," I said.

"_No, Bella, please. We can't afford to waste any time on this. I'm so sorry I can't go up there with you, but I'm pretty sure you can handle it. They don't call you a shark for no reason."_

"Alright, Angela, I will go, but you owe me big time," I grumbled before disconnecting the call.

Angela always knew what to say to get me to change my mind when I was being stubborn about something. I was less than thrilled about meeting Mr. Cullen on my own, but I was not afraid of him and he's little attitude. I could have angry bastards like him for breakfast before spitting them out.

I quickly made my way into the walk in closet and went about getting dressed. The weather in San Francisco would be cooler than it was here in Los Angeles, so I selected a long sleeved white shirt to go underneath my grey suit. This was my best power suit. The jacket fell down to my hips, This was my best power suit. The jacket fell down to my hips, the shape accentuating my hour glass figure. The skirt was just below the knee, a pencil skirt, and I completed the look with a pair of leather boots.

It was conservative enough to enter the San Quentin hell, but it also conveyed what I wanted to convey, nobody should mess with _this_ bitch.

After doing my hair and makeup I took one more look at myself in the mirror before giving myself a pep talk. I needed to be in the right kind of mindset if I was going to get Mr. Cullen to cool his horses long enough for me to get some answers from him. I needed to know desperately if he was innocent or not.

It was 6:00 a.m. sharp by the time I made it into my office. I was not due in San Quentin until three in the afternoon, and it gave me some time to make a few calls before I made my way over there.

My first call was to an old College friend. Her name was Yuki Castellano and she was an assistant DA in San Francisco. All of the appeal process would have to go through their courts and I wanted to warn Yuki I had taken on this case before it crossed her desk.

I drummed my fingers against my desk as her phone rang. I knew it was early, but Yuki was always up at the crack of down. I sighed when I heard her voicemail greeting.

"Yuki, is Bella. I'm going to be in the area this evening, and I will be staying at the Omni in the Financial District. I need to talk to you urgently. Do you think we can meet?" I said before ending the call.

The next order of business was to contact Mike Newton, sleaze detective extraordinaire. If Mr. Cullen was innocent, then we had our work cut out for us, and Newton was the best in the business.

"_Hello sweet cakes!," _Mike answered as soon as the phone rang.

"Ugh, Mike, Just because we have worked together several times now, doesn't mean you get to down grade me as one of the dirty whores you associate yourself with. So please do not refer to me as that ever again," I warned.

"_Charming as always,"_ He chuckled. "_What can I do for ya Miss Swan?"_

"I'm about to take another death row case and I wanted to make sure you are available if I decide to move forward," I said.

"_I'm always available for you, bab..., err, Miss Swan. When do you want to meet?"_ He asked in an over rehearsed voice that was supposed to make him sound seductive, but that only managed to make me want to hurl.

"I'm heading for San Quentin today and will not be back until Saturday. How about we meet Monday morning first thing? Also, in the meantime, can I call you if I need you to look into anything?" I asked.

"_Of course, anything you need." _

After discussing his rate I promised to see him at eight in the morning on Monday morning and finished the call with him. I would have to make sure to wear my most conservative outfit then. I didn't want to give Mike any chance to get his sleaze on while I tried to discuss a case with him.

I looked at my contact rolodex before making my last call. I was going to hire a Psychologist for the case. I needed help unlocking Mr. Cullen's memories of what transpired that night. It was the only way anyone of us could be completely certain of his innocence or prove that he was as guilty as he had proclaimed.

Eric Yorkie was one of San Francisco's top Psychologists. He had lived in LA for a few years and we went out on couple of dates before he realized that I had nothing to offer him. We had remained good friends since, but I always got the impression that he wanted more from me, and that he had stayed friends with me in hopes that someday I would be ready for more.

I left him a message confirming our meeting on Saturday morning before I headed back to LA. I wanted him to start seeing Mr. Cullen as soon as possible. I would not be moving forward with any motions until I resolved that piece of the puzzle.

After leaving a list of errands for Jessica to complete during my absence, I headed towards our Parking Garage and made my way to my Porsche Cayenne Turbo. One of the perks of being a sought after lawyer at one LA's top Firms. I smiled a little as I saw my reserved parking spot sign with the name if the law firm, Cleary Gottlieb Steen Hamilton & Swan LLP.

The drive to San Francisco wasn't bad. The firm had a private chopper that I could have used, or I could have taken the commuter plane, but I needed the drive to further clear my head. I hit a little bit of traffic once I got to the Ventura area, and once again when I got to the outskirts of San Francisco, but that was to be expected.

I made a stop in King City for some coffee and pastries before completing the rest of the trip.

I went straight to San Quentin. I was planning to head back down to San Francisco and to check in at the hotel after meeting Mr. Cullen.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

I took a deep breath as I was being led into the conference area. The security check had been grueling, but it was nothing different than what I was used to having handled so many death row cases before.

I was flanked by two guards as I made my way towards the room.

"Here you go Miss," one of the guards said before motioning for me to enter.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I put on my business mask and entered the room. There he was, Mr. Edward Cullen.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**EPOV**

The days after my failed suicide attempt had left me frustrated and angrier than ever. My bed and mattress had been removed, leaving me to sleep on a hard cement bench, and they had installed a video camera in my cell that was on all the time, which meant I didn't have a single second of privacy.

To make matters worse, I had promised Angela to never attempt that again. She was adamant that I was innocent and that she was going to prove it with the help of her partner. Little did she know that I was completely sure of the fact that I was guilty and that the only thing she was doing was prolonging my torture, allowing me to breath and be alive for more time than I ever deserved.

I stood up from the torturous bench and made my way to the open toilet. I hated the fact that I couldn't take a crap unnoticed, but I had stopped letting them know that I cared. I went about my normal business and was about to lay back down in the bench when a guard stopped in front of my cell.

"You have a visitor, Cullen," he groaned as he motioned for me to stand with my hands on my back as he entered the cell.

"I wasn't expecting anyone," I mumbled mostly to myself.

I thought that perhaps Angela had found new ways to torture me. I was pretty sure it was not my mother as I had already seen her this week and she wouldn't be allowed back again until the next.

I sighed in frustration as I was led to the conference room. This was the only place where you could talk without getting caught on camera, though they never stopped recording you, and it was only because this is where inmates met with their lawyers. I was getting sick of Angela and her antics very fast.

I groaned as the guard forced me into one of the chairs and handcuffed me to it.

"Do you really think I'm going to try to kill myself in here?" I asked in frustration.

"I don't know, and I don't care, but is not going to happen on my watch," the guard grunted before making his way to the door. He would wait there until my lawyer made it to the room.

I thought about all the things I was going to tell Angela so that she could desist from this fruitless plan of hers as I waited for her to enter. I lowered my head so that I could pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. I needed to make it clear that I didn't want, nor need her help. I just wanted to be put to death as soon as possible. A monster like me did not deserve second chances.

I sat up straight as I heard the unmistakable sound of heels approaching. The steps sounded strong and measured, and they reminded me of my death sentence, and the fact that nothing would save me from that fate.

I chuckled as the guard gasped, most likely taking in Angela's sexy figure but then my mouth hung open when I realized that this was not Ange. I stared dumbfounded as the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life approached the table.

She was tall and confident, her power suit pristine, yet sexy. Her long mahogany hair swirled behind her as if she was some runway model. She had deep brown eyes, the kind of eyes where you could get lost in forever, and the most beautiful pouty lips I have ever seen.

For a second I forgot all about my predicament and where I was as my entire body was filled with lust and need. I kept on staring as she sashayed her way to the table until she was standing directly in front of me.

"You may leave now, guard," she called in an authoritative voice, bringing me back to reality.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," she said as she looked at me up and down, almost as if she was trying to figure out all about me by just looking at me.

"I'm Miss Swan and I'm the lawyer who will decide if our firm will be taking your case or not," she said before stretching out her hand and frowning at my handcuffed wrists.

"Just one moment," she said before turning around and heading towards the intercom next to the door.

I watched as her perfectly round ass made its way to the other side of the room and I started to get angry. What the fuck? Why did she have to come here and stir things in me that should be left unstirred? Who was she?

I was fuming at the fact that she would be analyzing my fucking case all the way looking like she was some sort of black angel sent from the deepest depths of hell to finally grant me my freedom from this world. She would be my kiss of death, without the kiss, I was sure.

I hated her. She had barely said a few words to me and I hated her with all I had. I wanted her to disappear from my life just as sudden as she had appeared and I wanted her to never come back again. I couldn't, no, I wouldn't let myself feel anything for this woman, and I would make sure to show her that I didn't need nor want her help.

I was so caught up in my hatred that I did not hear what she said on the intercom or notice that she had made it back to the table, and was now tapping her foot impatiently, the leather boots making her legs appear to be miles long, as she stood right across from me, her hands on the seat she would be taking.

I took a deep breath before looking at her and I realized that she was not looking at me, but at the door, as if waiting for someone else. Just then the guard showed up and dragged his feet as he approached the table.

"Listen lady, I will remove his cuffs, but I will make you personally responsible if he tries anything," the guard grunted.

"It is Miss Swan to you, and I assure you, my client here will not attempt to do anything. Now move along, I have things to discuss with my client," she demanded as I cringed at the fact that she was so fucking sexy.

Once the guard was out and the room was closed, she placed her leather suitcase on the table and took a seat.

"I will get to the point, Mr. Cullen, as I don't want to waste my time, nor yours," she said, all business like.

"You can save it," I said with clenched teeth. "If you are trying to figure out of I'm innocent or not, then let me cut to the chase and tell you that I'm not. I am fucking guilty and I would really appreciate it if people would just leave me the fuck alone instead of trying to score career points with another difficult case."

I stared her down with what I thought was my most evil stare and I raised my head to her in an attempt to control the situation and get her to leave. She never broke eye contact with me and stared me down with the same intensity.

"Stop being such a fucking coward, and listen to me, as I'm only going to say this once. I'm not here as some huge career move, or even because I think you are innocent, I'm here because Mrs. Webber got involved with this mess and I am the one that needs to clean it up before it drags both of us under. I will determine if you are innocent or not, since your memories from that night are less than reliable, and I would appreciate it if you could stop your macho crap long enough for me to prove you guilty as condemned and move on, she said without skipping a beat.

"I don't," I started to say before she cut me off.

"Save it. You have made it perfectly clear that you don't want anyone's help, but I'm not here because of you, or even because of me. I'm here because my colleague and friend believes you to be innocent and has asked me to help her prove it so and I will not leave until either I know that you are guilty and prove this to her, or get you out of this dammed place and save your neck if you are not. Are we clear Mr. Cullen?"

"Crystal," I yelled.

"Good, then let me do my job," she sighed before pinching the bridge of her nose. I couldn't help but stare at her once more. An internal battle was raging inside my body. I wanted to ravage her right then and there, rip open the buttons of her blouse and lift her skirt before plunging into her depths, but I also wanted to make her disappear. I hated her. I wanted her. _Fucking hell, someone safe me!_

She cleared her throat and gave me a measured look, almost as if she was fighting the same battle, and just like that, I snapped back into reality.

"Now, do you remember killing the victims?" she asked.

"No" I wished I could.

"Do you remember anything about that night?"

"Only what I dreamed before the police came to my parent's home."

"Why do you think this dream is proof of your guilt?" she asked as she looked me in the eye.

"Because once I woke up, everything in my room confirmed it. I had blood in my hands, I had their fucking blood in my hands. How could I not be guilty?" I yelled. No shit lady!

"I see a hint of doubt in your eyes Mr. Cullen. You are not completely certain that you are guilty, and that's enough for me to proceed. I'll be in touch," she said before standing up and making her way back to the intercom once again.

"Is that it? Is that all you've got?" I asked perplexed. She looked spooked as desperate to get away from me. _Had she finally realized the kind of monster I was?_ I was incredulous at her lack of courage and perseverance, yet happy that the torture would finally be over. However, I couldn't help pressing the issue.

"You mean you drove all the way out here and got your pretty ass inside this hell just to see if there was doubt in my eyes. Are you fucking crazy?" I asked as I seethed in anger.

"Yes. That was it. You take care now," she said with a tight smile before exiting the room and leaving me once again alone with all my demons.

~~~~~~~~PMI~~~~~~~~

**BPOV**

I hurried out of the jail facility and made it to my car before letting my guard down. What the fuck had happened in there? Mr. Cullen was so infuriating and such an asshole, and all I wanted to do was jump in his lap and taste his lips while caressing his unusually bronze like hair.

I could see the anguish and the regret in his eyes and for some reason in cut deep inside. I had seen the same look before, in Emmett's eyes as he gave in to his doomed fate, way before I was able to prove him innocent.

I also wanted to slap his arrogance away, yet embrace him in my arms and tell him that everything would be alright. For my sake he needed to be innocent and I realized that I was fucked. How could I be impartial if every cell in my body is clinging to the hope that he is innocent? What if he wasn't?

Fuck you Angela and your fucking snap decisions," I screamed before taking a deep breath and starting the car. I had a lot to do if I was going to prove that Mr. Cullen was innocent, and I was determined to move as fast as possible because for the first time since Emmett's case, I was getting emotionally vested in a case.

Just then my iPhone rang.

"_Bella? How did it go?"_ Angela asked before I had the chance to say hello.

"I fucking hate you right now Angela. How could you put my career in jeopardy by dragging me into this case?" I asked.

"_I take it we are taking the case,_" she all but squealed, completely ignoring my sour mood.

"I haven't decided that yet, I need to investigate this first," I said before pinching the bridge of my nose.

"_I know he's innocent and I also know that once you discover that, there will be nothing to stop you from proving him so."_

"Goodbye, Angela. I can't stand you and your cheeriness right now," I spat before hanging up the phone on her.

I tossed the phone in my purse and I drove away. I needed to get away from this godforsaken place. I needed to put distance between myself and Mr. Cullen's stunning green eyes, and the pain behind them.

I needed to figure out a way to become impartial once again, and I realize then that my friend Yuki was the only one who could offer me a dose of reality. I was in for the biggest rollercoaster of my life, and I needed to hold on to anything and everything that could keep me grounded.

Yet I still wanted to go back and grab his hair hard before pressing my lips hard against his. _Yes, I was royally fucked!_


	9. UPDATE

**AN: Update**

Hello Everyone,

I know that is has been entirely too long since I have updated this and my other story Fingerprint, and I am really sorry about leaving you all hanging like that. Many of you are aware that I had a car accident on June 5th, 2009, and I had intended to continue with my stories right after I recovered, but the accident was just the catalyst of what has been the most difficult two years of my life.

After beating cancer twice (currently on remission) and 4 surgeries in a two year period spam- I have been pretty much very preoccupied with my health and haven't been inspired, nor have I had the energy to continue writing.

As of today, I am feeling a lot better and Prove Me Innocent was one of those stories that wouldn't shut up, so I made the decision to finish writing it. Easier said than done though, as I basically left it at the last published chapter and never came back (I hate to read my own writing) so I am in the process of first editing the published chapters (it was a good way to reintroduce myself to the story and see if I still had the same ideas floating around, and the good news is that I do )

So soon, there will be updates for all the current chapters, then I am going to hold off posting until I have most of the rest of the story written out, if not all of it, so that I can post on a consistent schedule and not leave you all hanging.

Thanks so much to all of you who have sent pms asking about the story and about my health. I really appreciate all of you and I hope that I don't let you all down with this story.

Ezzery


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